Thread of Love v6.9

[MalkinIsMyHomeboy]

on the other side of the street, I re-downloaded a dating app (Hinge) because I was bored this weekend. Managed to get a match. Got a reply back from the girl, sent a message back and...no response. I remembered why I hate dating apps

[RonnieFranchise]

Just do what I did. Meet friend of a friend at a bar and get married to her.

[meow]

Or what meow did. Stalk a few athlete and wear her down over time until she went out with me to stop me from bothering her anymore

[Kane]

Or skip the part where you date in your 20s and marry the girl you started dating in high school.

[dodint]

Winner.

[King Colby]

Or skip the part where you date in your 20s and marry the girl you started dating in high school.

Same. Started dating my first year out of HS and her Sr year. 15 years later here we are

[AuthorTony]

Or you could lead a barren, solitary existence.

[shmenguin]

Not sure how old you are MiMH, but from 22-28, I had nothing going on with girls. Didn’t make much sense to me. I would have the stray date with beautiful, talented girls and then there would always be a weird catch and it never worked out. Thought I was taking crazy pills, because, on paper, I was a catch (reality was probably slightly different, but still…). Got pretty bleak. Became convinced of my permanent solitude. Spiraled hard.

One day, someone amazing moved into the apartment next door. A few months later I heard her taking to a friend in the hallway so I decided to take my trash out and introduce myself. A week later and we were pretty much married. And she was better in every category than anyone I had ever dated. And I was also quite bald at that point so who the F knows what girls want.

Things can change very quickly and you sometimes don’t see it coming.

[mikey]

Yes, yes it can. I was mentally committed to being a swingin' bachelor for the rest of my life...I have the staying power for that in my mid-30's and it was easy to justify considering how many people I see getting divorced, dealing with kids, and losing half their stuff and then being turned loose again at 38 or 42 or whatever...I thought, "yeah, just keep eating right and using the ab wheel and you'll keep rakin it in through your mid-40's at least...look at Pete Carroll, he's like 90 and can still blow bubbles with 23 year olds...you're fine..."

Then covid led me and a friend of mine to hook up and within a few months we live together and at this point, like shmenguin said, we're basically married...

It's like a draft...it only takes one team to like you, ya never know when that button gets pressed...

[meecrofilm]

on the other side of the street, I re-downloaded a dating app (Hinge) because I was bored this weekend. Managed to get a match. Got a reply back from the girl, sent a message back and...no response. I remembered why I hate dating apps

I got pretty immune to that. Bumble was working out pretty well for me, but there are (or 'were' I guess, I'm dating someone now) many times were a convo would just fizzle out of nowhere, so it was like, w/e. Even my current gf, when we were messaging early on she went a week without responding after I initially asked her out, and after I checked back she apologized and said her work was crazy, which, knowing what I know now, would seem to be the truth.

Regardless, idk, I always give peeps on those apps more-than-healthy windows to respond to things. I figure they're getting blown up all the time anyways, so the space is an appreciated change of pace. And if I check back and it's still crickets, w/e, their loss. Onto the next one.

[MR25]

I feel like my success rate with that has gone down since the vaccines became a thing. Now that people can go out again (generally speaking) it seems like they're less likely than last year to put in the effort on the apps.

[mikey]

Picking up a girl at a bar or at a club or a music show or whatever seems so much easier to me than an app...

I think I went on two app dates, both initiated by the girl...one of which barely spoke English haha (it was surprisingly not that obvious from the little conversation we had)...but I don't know, I didn't really delve that deep into them...but they seem like a tough look...

[MR25]

I'm not a huge fan of the bar/club scene for a variety of reasons.

[MalkinIsMyHomeboy]

yeah it's tough


so I have never been particularly successful on dating apps. I admit some of it is my "fault" but for good reason. I feel like a lot of dating app profiles need to be so carefully procured...you need to do so much to stand out and even then the odds are against you. Men and women have different problems because of the ratio of guys to girls on the apps: men generally get little to no attention and women get an overwhelming amount of attention. ultimately this leads to a "wealth inequality"



I've had enough experience on dating apps to know that they aren't for me. They just destroy any self-confidence I might have built up

--


the bar/club scene is out for me because it's such a crapshoot. you don't know if you have anything in common with those women other than you both like to drink. Frankly I'm not a huge bar person and I'm definitely not a club person so even then the overlap is tenuous.

The place where there's opportunity on that I've been trying to focus on is my local yoga studio but I also want to be super careful: I don't want to be the weird creepy guy that's hitting on girls at yoga. I've been going to the studio for a year and a half now (well we were remote when COVID started but yeah) so I have a good rapport with the owner and I know my intentions are pure; I'm there for yoga and if I meet a girl that's a secondary benefit. But striking that balance of assertive yet not creepy has been tough for me. I'm a naturally anxious person so it's easy for me to just avoid rather than strike up a random convo with a cute girl but I'm slowly getting better

[shmenguin]

Met exactly one girl worth a sht at a bar. She ended up being a writer on SNL and has acted in a few shows like Kroll Show. But she lived in Pitt and I lived in Philly.

And the kicker is that it was the very first time I went out to a bar in the city. And everything after that was a disaster.

…worked out in the end, like I said. But the bar scene was a nightmare overall.

[mikey]

Hmph, not only do I have a lot of success in those scenes, but I even made two really good friends in the past two years just by happenstance at bars...to the point that I'm going to Vermont this weekend and one chick's parents/family are insisting that I stop in and visit them while up there...

I don't know, I just feel like those are generally a really natural stage for me to operate on...hmph, obvious others' mileage varies significantly...

[meecrofilm]

Met exactly one girl worth a sht at a bar. She ended up being a writer on SNL and has acted in a few shows like Kroll Show. But she lived in Pitt and I lived in Philly.

And the kicker is that it was the very first time I went out to a bar in the city. And everything after that was a disaster.

…worked out in the end, like I said. But the bar scene was a nightmare overall.

I know exactly who you're talking about, lol.

[shmenguin]

Hmph, not only do I have a lot of success in those scenes, but I even made two really good friends in the past two years just by happenstance at bars...to the point that I'm going to Vermont this weekend and one chick's parents/family are insisting that I stop in and visit them while up there...

I don't know, I just feel like those are generally a really natural stage for me to operate on...hmph, obvious others' mileage varies significantly...

Girls I’ve met at bars have too much edge. My wife is a big softy who decided she was done with that after she graduated college and wanted to settle down without getting rubbed up on by various Mikeys.

[mikey]

She is not missing out...

[MalkinIsMyHomeboy]

on the other side of the street, I re-downloaded a dating app (Hinge) because I was bored this weekend. Managed to get a match. Got a reply back from the girl, sent a message back and...no response. I remembered why I hate dating apps

man I love dating in 2021

match with another girl. We hit it off

me: let’s go on a date. Does Friday at this brewery work?
her: yep!
<on friday>
me: just checking in, we’re still on for tonight right?
her: had a bad day. Gonna have to cancel
me: wanna do another day then?
her: sure!
me: does Monday work?

And then no more replies. I genuinely don’t understand it. Why engage me like that if you’re going to just disappear?




I don’t consider myself prone to addictions at all; I’m very disciplined. But holy **** I cannot resist the siren call of online dating apps when I know all roads lead to disappointment, anger and further eroding my self esteem

[MR25]

At least you got cut off after one attempt. I had a girl I matched with on Bumble string me along no fewer than 6 different times. Each time she'd either cancel morning of or right after I got in the car and started driving. The worst part was she'd be oh so apologetic and reschedule, only to do the same thing again.

Wasted like, 2 months doing that.

[Beveridge]

Must have been an 11/10 to let that happen 6 times. Would have been out after the 2nd.

[MR25]

TBH I had nothing else going for me at the time and she seemed genuine about wanting to reschedule.

[shmenguin]

Guess what…dudes would get ghosted long before online dating was a thing. This isn’t new. Dating is awful

[AuthorTony]

Can't yinz just play video games?