5AF Parenting Thread

Post by **meow** » Thu Apr 30, 2015 1:40 am

Did you ever almost have your 15 month old to sleep at 1 am, have him sit up in your arms, lovingly look you in the eyes, and proceed to projectile vomit all over you?

Good times. Good times.

Post by **Reveutopique** » Thu Apr 30, 2015 5:16 am

My nephew left a poop trail on Papa Kaiser's carpet on the way to the bathroom.
He is still the cutest little baby ever!

Why is that emoji green?

Post by **Pavel Bure** » Thu Apr 30, 2015 7:08 am

I smelled something, grabbed the back of the diaper to pull and look for poop... Fingers slipped right off, poop on my shirt, poop on my hand, poop on the kiddo exploding out of the back of the diaper.

Post by **RonnieFranchise** » Thu Apr 30, 2015 7:54 am

I do NOT miss the poop days.

Unfortunately the vomit days last a lot longer. We always do a junk food fest on Christmas Eve. Christmas Eve 2013, my 13 year old projectile vomited mostly buffalo wings off the top bunk all over his bedroom.

Post by **columbia** » Thu Apr 30, 2015 8:10 am

Pleasant

Post by **blackjack68** » Thu Apr 30, 2015 8:20 am

Pavel Bure wrote:I smelled something, grabbed the back of the diaper to pull and look for poop... Fingers slipped right off, poop on my shirt, poop on my hand, poop on the kiddo exploding out of the back of the diaper.

We call that a "blowout" and had a few of them...just not onto us.

Post by **Silentom** » Thu Apr 30, 2015 8:21 am

Oh boy, can't wait for that time in my life. First thing I'm investing in is a pee pee teepee.

Post by **blackjack68** » Thu Apr 30, 2015 8:22 am

RonnieFranchise wrote:I do NOT miss the poop days.

Unfortunately the vomit days last a lot longer. We always do a junk food fest on Christmas Eve. Christmas Eve 2013, my 13 year old projectile vomited mostly buffalo wings off the top bunk all over his bedroom.

My daughter would projectile as an infant if we gave her whole milk. Had to use 2%. She wasn't lactose intolerant (per tests).

My son had some bad days at 9 before he was diagnosed as having Celiac Disease. I mean, what do you feed a kid who is vomiting and has diarrhea? Yep, toast and pasta...which only made him sicker.

Post by **PFiDC** » Thu Apr 30, 2015 8:50 am

He only pooped on me twice. The first time was my first ever diaper change.

Post by **Freddy Rumsen** » Thu Apr 30, 2015 9:27 am

Only my oldest did the projectile vomit thing...and number four has farts that would win competitions. The kid is 2 and can clear a room. (And is well aware of his superpower).

Post by **shafnutz05** » Thu Apr 30, 2015 9:47 am

We've been pretty lucky...have had several blowouts with our daughter but they were mostly contained to her clothes. When she was really young (2-3 months maybe?), she shot poop off the changing table squarely into our goldendoodle's face. So that was funny.

Post by **RonnieFranchise** » Thu Apr 30, 2015 9:53 am

shafnutz05 wrote:We've been pretty lucky...have had several blowouts with our daughter but they were mostly contained to her clothes. When she was really young (2-3 months maybe?), she shot poop off the changing table squarely into our goldendoodle's face. So that was funny.

Our oldest, now 14 peed on the dog during his first bath after he came home. We have video to prove it. He's pretty happy about that.....

Post by **PFiDC** » Thu Apr 30, 2015 9:57 am

Pfffft I peed on our dog in December

Post by **eddy** » Thu Apr 30, 2015 11:59 am

In 3 days all three of my kids have got upper respiratory and ear infections. I've made 3 trips to the Dr this week. I told them today that's it, I'm out of kids. I don't even know if it's possible, but I think I regot(no way that's a word) their virus after dealing with my bronchitis and a sinus infection for a week, so it's fun feeling terrible, then better, then terrible again.

Post by **Viva la Ben** » Fri May 01, 2015 4:31 pm

I'm starting to fully realize the benefit of 9 year old boys when it comes to yard work.

Post by **AuthorTony** » Fri May 01, 2015 4:36 pm

If I ever need reassured that I made the correct choice in not having kids, I just need to read the first posts in this thread.

Post by **PFiDC** » Fri May 01, 2015 4:38 pm

Viva la Ben wrote:I'm starting to fully realize the benefit of 9 year old boys when it comes to yard work.

Post by **Viva la Ben** » Fri May 01, 2015 4:53 pm

I mean I pretty much just run the mower. Raking and gathering weeds and brush is now handled by someone else. I have a built in crew.

Post by **PFiDC** » Fri May 01, 2015 9:02 pm

Free labor! And parts....

Post by **shafnutz05** » Thu May 07, 2015 10:05 pm

Related to my rage post in the random thread yesterday...it is a wonderful feeling after six nights of your toddler coughing and being miserable at night, trying a new prescription at 5 PM today, and seeing her be fast asleep in the same position on the monitor for 2 1/2 hours and counting. Knock on wood, but so relieved.

Post by **Sarcastic** » Thu May 07, 2015 10:14 pm

A friend of my mom's daughter came home from college. Pregnant. Doesn't know who the father is. Party girl, many guys. Yikes.

Post by **Factorial** » Thu May 07, 2015 10:22 pm

Sarcastic wrote:A friend of my mom's daughter came home from college. Pregnant. Doesn't know who the father is. Party girl, many guys. Yikes.

Colleges need to hand out the morning after pill for dummies like that.

Post by **shafnutz05** » Thu May 07, 2015 10:27 pm

Factorial wrote:
Sarcastic wrote:A friend of my mom's daughter came home from college. Pregnant. Doesn't know who the father is. Party girl, many guys. Yikes.
Colleges need to hand out the morning after pill for dummies like that.

Not to mention HIV packets.

Post by **Factorial** » Thu May 07, 2015 10:41 pm

If they aren't already, then yeah, I agree. Lots of condoms too.

Post by **PFiDC** » Thu May 07, 2015 10:43 pm

shafnutz05 wrote:
Factorial wrote:
Sarcastic wrote:A friend of my mom's daughter came home from college. Pregnant. Doesn't know who the father is. Party girl, many guys. Yikes.
Colleges need to hand out the morning after pill for dummies like that.
Not to mention HIV packets.

Packets of HIV?