5AF Parenting Thread

[mac5155]

Speaking of, we completed our parent and teacher evaluations of him for ADHD, and the results came back that he likely has it. It's been weighing heavy on me. I know it's not a bad thing but I can't help but feeling like it is. Pediatrician suggested a non stimulant medicine regimen to try and see if there are improvements. He has 97-100% grades in every subject. We just had parent teacher conferences, and teacher could not stress how well he's doing academically. She's giving him assignments to help other students who are struggling, to help her mark papers, and to leave the classroom to go read to other adult helpers in the school when she knows he doesn't need the particular instruction at the time. But, he can't sit still, he can't seem to keep his hands to himself, and has a hard time with impulse control. So what I'm getting at is if anyone has experience with this stuff, send help. Its hard on me personally to medicate a 6 year old but I know it's for the better.

[MWB]

If your child had a disease that required daily medication, would you hesitate? I know it seems different, but it really isn’t.

And c2i, I agree with what others said. Try to have her give it another go. Both my girls had experiences like this. It may not end up being her thing, but gotta give it more than one shot.

[NTP66]

I feel for you, mac. Good luck with things, and I would personally go along with everything your pediatrician recommends.

[mac5155]

If your child had a disease that required daily medication, would you hesitate? I know it seems different, but it really isn’t.

I've had several people tell me this and it helps me understand. But at the same time, most other diseases aren't formed by an opinionated evaluation. I know it's supposed to be cut and dry but 3 people took the equivalent of a Facebook survey to diagnose him and now were talking about potentially life & brain altering drugs to a six year old. That's the part I can't get over. It's not like a diabetic where we see a number on bloodwork and we say yes he needs insulin. It's just kind of trial and error at this point and it feels very experimental on a young kid who maybe is just bored in school with learning stuff that comes easy to him so he finds other ways to occupy his mind. It's a struggle to accept for me.

[count2infinity]

And c2i, I agree with what others said. Try to have her give it another go. Both my girls had experiences like this. It may not end up being her thing, but gotta give it more than one shot.

Thanks. She and I chatted this morning about it. This evening we're going to try all/most of the things they did at practice at home and tomorrow we're going to get to practice on the early side. We walked in the doors just as it started and she was kind of freaking out from the start. We're going to get there early, she's going to find a friend, settle in, and see if that helps.

[Morkle]

If your child had a disease that required daily medication, would you hesitate? I know it seems different, but it really isn’t.

I've had several people tell me this and it helps me understand. But at the same time, most other diseases aren't formed by an opinionated evaluation. I know it's supposed to be cut and dry but 3 people took the equivalent of a Facebook survey to diagnose him and now were talking about potentially life & brain altering drugs to a six year old. That's the part I can't get over. It's not like a diabetic where we see a number on bloodwork and we say yes he needs insulin. It's just kind of trial and error at this point and it feels very experimental on a young kid who maybe is just bored in school with learning stuff that comes easy to him so he finds other ways to occupy his mind. It's a struggle to accept for me.

My kid has a rare genetic condition that would pre-dispose him to ADHD, obesity, etc. He's underweight, but he was smacked with the severe ADHD stick, and we've known since he was about 3.

We've been in therapies with him since he was 3 months old. Current state, he's totally fine (6 now), minus the ADHD. He's hyper, has almost zero impulse control, and can't manage his emotions worth a damn. It's been a struggle in our house since he could talk/walk, and there's been some fights over it in the past.

No joke, the second we got him on medication(s) (the first 4 weren't successful) he's calmed down and life has gotten better at home. My biggest fear was losing his personality or who he is, and I can tell you - none of that really matters long term. He's still him, he's still very much an ADHD child, but the medication has helped him calm down.

Now, I can tell you - the first medication/dosage may or may not work, it might require finding the right mix that works for your kid. It took us 4-5 and ones that zapped him, we took him off immediately. A good doctor will help you through this, so I wouldn't be concerned about it.

The one thing I would prepare you for, is that you get used to him on medication, so when it wears off after 8 hours, there are nights that are simply ADHD overdrive, and you manage him and his feelings as best as possible, because they've been working all day to keep it together.

Would I go through the process again? 100%, it helps him function, regulate, and focus enough to do well in school.

[MWB]

If your child had a disease that required daily medication, would you hesitate? I know it seems different, but it really isn’t.

I've had several people tell me this and it helps me understand. But at the same time, most other diseases aren't formed by an opinionated evaluation. I know it's supposed to be cut and dry but 3 people took the equivalent of a Facebook survey to diagnose him and now were talking about potentially life & brain altering drugs to a six year old. That's the part I can't get over. It's not like a diabetic where we see a number on bloodwork and we say yes he needs insulin. It's just kind of trial and error at this point and it feels very experimental on a young kid who maybe is just bored in school with learning stuff that comes easy to him so he finds other ways to occupy his mind. It's a struggle to accept for me.

Yeah, completely get what you’re saying. It isn’t completely black and white. However, generally the people filling out the forms know what they’re talking about. For someone with experience it’s pretty easy to tell a bored kid from a kid with adhd.

[Morkle]

Right, it’s not hard to see a kid who has ADHD over the others. Like I said, we knew fairly early and they refused to diagnose him until 5 and wanted to figure out medication prior to kindergarten.

[mac5155]

Thanks Morkle. I believe our kids are about the same age give or take a few months. So it's nice to hear someone else is going thru this also. We were given like 5 meds to evaluate and pick one. I really don't know how I am supposed to evaluate any of them, so we just picked the one that was non stimulant to start. It seems the only real way to find one that works is trial and error. That's what really irks me, but it's just the way it is.

[Morkle]

Nope that’s exactly it and how that started. I can tell you, you’re not picking a medication for life. The second you don’t like the side effects, your doctor should give you instructions to wean off and go to the next one.

It’s really not that bad, and the kids won’t remember it or it’ll be a blip. The abilities he’s gained is worth far more than keeping him off of it, for his sake, your sake, and your wife’s sake. No question.

[NTP66]

We had our end of the season parent vs. player and siblings soccer game last night. Coach took a corner that found its way to me and I put it just over the bar with my left foot. A shame, because it was a terrific cross. Late in the second half, I got another cross that I did put into the back of the net. Immediately took my Gattuso jersey off and ran down the field with my kid and some of her teammates chasing and yelling at me.

It was frigid out there, but everyone had a great time. Ended the night with pizza and snacks in the clubhouse. Winter soccer doesn't start until February, so it'll be a little weird not having practice 2x/week or games on Saturdays.

[CBear3]

We had our end of the season parent vs. player and siblings soccer game last night. Coach took a corner that found its way to me and I put it just over the bar with my left foot. A shame, because it was a terrific cross. Late in the second half, I got another cross that I did put into the back of the net. Immediately took my Gattuso jersey off and ran down the field with my kid and some of her teammates chasing and yelling at me.

It was frigid out there, but everyone had a great time. Ended the night with pizza and snacks in the clubhouse. Winter soccer doesn't start until February, so it'll be a little weird not having practice 2x/week or games on Saturdays.

Awesome! A total mental snapshot moment.

[NTP66]

We had our end of the season parent vs. player and siblings soccer game last night. Coach took a corner that found its way to me and I put it just over the bar with my left foot. A shame, because it was a terrific cross. Late in the second half, I got another cross that I did put into the back of the net. Immediately took my Gattuso jersey off and ran down the field with my kid and some of her teammates chasing and yelling at me.

It was frigid out there, but everyone had a great time. Ended the night with pizza and snacks in the clubhouse. Winter soccer doesn't start until February, so it'll be a little weird not having practice 2x/week or games on Saturdays.

Awesome! A total mental snapshot moment.

I wish somebody had their camera out when I scored because this is exactly how I reacted. My daughter was so embarrassed. It was great.

[CBear3]

If your child had a disease that required daily medication, would you hesitate? I know it seems different, but it really isn’t.

I've had several people tell me this and it helps me understand. But at the same time, most other diseases aren't formed by an opinionated evaluation. I know it's supposed to be cut and dry but 3 people took the equivalent of a Facebook survey to diagnose him and now were talking about potentially life & brain altering drugs to a six year old. That's the part I can't get over. It's not like a diabetic where we see a number on bloodwork and we say yes he needs insulin. It's just kind of trial and error at this point and it feels very experimental on a young kid who maybe is just bored in school with learning stuff that comes easy to him so he finds other ways to occupy his mind. It's a struggle to accept for me.

Yeah, completely get what you’re saying. It isn’t completely black and white. However, generally the people filling out the forms know what they’re talking about. For someone with experience it’s pretty easy to tell a bored kid from a kid with adhd.

Most of them specialize in exactly this kind of thing, and don't take medicating it lightly. I'm lucky enough that my sister is a Middle School Psychologist so I ran all these types of questions through her first.

[Morkle]

Our doctor wasn't advising medication until school age. She was strict/adamant about it not happening. We ended up doing parent child/interaction therapy and that helped for a bit.

[mac5155]

Some things I see him struggle with are decision making (eg the other day I offered him to pick a hot wheels car at the store for being good and it literally was an eight minute process deciding which one), inability to focus on one thing (at football practice, staring over at the other group while he should be watching coaches), and the movement stuff (can't sit down for dinner, teacher says he's up and moving out of his desk when he shouldn't be).

But then there are things I see that it's like, yeah man you're very intelligent. He remembers everything down to the minute detail. He can deduce reasoning for everything and always questions stuff. Telling him no isn't good enough. You have to tell him no, we aren't going to do that and explain in great detail WHY we aren't doing that, for example. He has zero problems making friends, is a "social butterfly" from his teacher, all the staff at school know and adore him, but I know he can push most of their buttons also. And his grades 2-3% away from perfect.

Then there's the crap that literally every parent deals with. Brushing teeth takes 5-6 times to try. The legs hurt at bedtime. Etc.

It's tough to swallow but I often reflect back on my childhood and can't help but wonder if I was in the same boat and didn't get help.

[Morkle]

I don't know if I'd agree that it's a tough pill to swallow. 8% of kids have ADHD. They estimated in 2023 that 15+m adults have it. This isn't down syndrome or anything like that. It's such a common thing treated with medication. I don't even look at it as something that holds my kid back in school. He keeps it together when necessary and goes crazy when he gets home. That's literally my biggest challenge, is just working on ways to help him cope at home after dealing with rules all day.

[mac5155]

Appreciate you talking me off the ledge here.

[count2infinity]

Got to wrestling practice tonight early. I think part of the problem Tuesday was we got there right at start time and she didn’t have a chance to settle in.

Told her for stretches she could come over and stand close to me that way I could tell her what to do if she wasn’t sure. Of course, the coaches took attendance and in the process placed them in spots to do stretches rather than them getting to pick like last time. Hers was all the way on the other side of the room.

The tears started falling but she stuck it out and did the stretches. Then came time for some jogs and crawls and side shuffles and she broke down crying and came over when a new thing came up, jogging backwards. She said “I can’t, I don’t know how…”

I know how sensitive of a kid she is, but I decided to throw a Hail Mary with a bit of tough love. Explained that she was giving up before even trying it. Told her that I never want to hear her say “I can’t do it” without at least giving it a shot. If she tries and can’t do it, fine, but at least try. She then shifted to “my belly hurts”. I figured we were in for a penny, so we were in for a pound on the tough love. Said “no, your stomach doesn’t hurt, you’re just looking for an excuse, now get in line and try the backwards running.”

She got in line, tears falling, and continued with practice and then about 5-10 minutes later, it just kinda clicked and she started actually trying everything. Coach gave her a high five through the one drill and bam. She started smiling. Started shaking her butt at me and laughing.

Hoping it carries over to next week.

[King Colby]

It should. If not, the uncomfortable stuff will pass quicker.

[meow]

Boy if you think that’s tough love, you’d call CPS on me watching a hockey practice

[DigitalGypsy66]

Glad things went well.

Also, to meow and his hockey practice techniques

[mac5155]

Anyone have Beyblades? Are they cool? Seemed like something my son would be interested in playing and I'm always trying to find things that can occupy him solo that aren't a screen.

[NTP66]

Man, I remember those from like 20+ years ago.

[mac5155]

I was seriously trying to jog my memory if I ever had them before. I swear I did. Then I thought I was getting them mixed up with pogs