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shafnutz05
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Postby shafnutz05 » Thu Feb 08, 2018 6:24 am

The lack of sleep probably isn't helping, but there's nothing wrong with seeing a therapist. I highly recommend it.

count2infinity
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Postby count2infinity » Thu Feb 08, 2018 8:17 am

New month... new number in the tens place on the scale. Weighed in at 239 this morning.

So far, down 46 pounds, only (only... lol) 29 pounds left to go to break into "normal" BMI range, which is ultimately where I'd like to be.

skullman80
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Postby skullman80 » Thu Feb 08, 2018 9:04 am

Good work @count2infinity !

dodint
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Postby dodint » Thu Feb 08, 2018 10:24 am

I think part of it or even most of it for me is just over thinking stuff...that's why I am addicted to distraction, particularly around sleep time...if I sit there in silence, I will start thinking about stuff...not bad stuff, just stuff I need to do, want to do, etc. and then my heart starts going and then I am even more awake, so then I consider doing some of the stuff since I am awake already...then debate whether that's a good idea or not haha...
Same. I was miserably tired all day yesterday. Couldnt' wait to get to bed. Finished up homework right before midnight, then laid in bed till 2am thinking about how to mount a second camera to a race car. Kill me.

(The answer is RAM glare shield mount compressed to the rear pocket window.)

shafnutz05
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Postby shafnutz05 » Thu Feb 08, 2018 8:10 pm

I hear Zoloft is fine.
I go to a therapist once a week to talk through my stuff. Honestly, it's one of the best things I ever did for myself. I've only been going for just under two months, but there's a reason why it's so popular. The caveat is that you need to find a therapist that you like....not one that will tell you what you want to hear, but one that can relate. The first two ones I tried were too old, and I felt like I had little in common. The third (and the one I go to) is closer to my age, and I genuinely look forward to going now. It's really cathartic and I think it is making me a better person.

tl;nr, there's a stigma, and there shouldn't be. I'm not ashamed to say I go :fist:

dodint
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Postby dodint » Thu Feb 08, 2018 8:27 pm

I don't think it's a stigma personally. I encouraged the wife to go and she has seen great returns. Glad you're getting similar results.

I just don't know that my problems are worthy of treatment. They're psychologically mechanical flaws, not borne of outside influence. In short I am not sure where the line is between real issues and just being a dodint.

The zoloft quip was tongue and cheek, a callback to the PDT. I was on it in my teens, it wasn't good.

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Postby shmenguin » Thu Feb 08, 2018 8:28 pm

Therapy is complicated. You realize fairly quickly that they are just following a play book for the most part. Actual insight can be rare. But getting your crap out of your brain and on the record is valuable. Transparency is important. I spent most of my time working the doctor over so she wouldn't actually challenge me. It's an easy game to win if you're a decent shmoozer.

I obviously don't endorse this attitude. It was a waste of my time, and looking back, not committing to the process hurt me in the long run. But therapy was overall helpful. It just had its limits.

Drugs are more complicated yet. Anti depressants trick you into thinking you're better, and when you have a moment realizing you aren't, it can be devastating. But like therapy itself, they're sometimes needed as at least a starting point.

I think my larger point is that this stuff isn't a magic bullet. But these are good starting points.

shafnutz05
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Postby shafnutz05 » Thu Feb 08, 2018 8:40 pm

I don't think it's a stigma personally. I encouraged the wife to go and she has seen great returns. Glad you're getting similar results.

I just don't know that my problems are worthy of treatment. They're psychologically mechanical flaws, not borne of outside influence. In short I am not sure where the line is between real issues and just being a dodint.

The zoloft quip was tongue and cheek, a callback to the PDT. I was on it in my teens, it wasn't good.
:thumb:

Most of my issues are internally manifested. Obviously, there are some outside influences (and yes, unresolved childhood stuff), but I couldn't believe how cathartic it was to talk to someone else about it. A lot of the stuff I tell my therapist I could (would?) never tell anyone else.

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Postby iamjs » Thu Feb 08, 2018 11:07 pm

Shortly before this, I went from 185 to 217 without even noticing.
Yeah, I don't want to talk about that.

Between vendors bringing in breakfast every morning, not being able to run until recently, and really blowing off the diet since December, I put on all the weight that I lost when I first had my bronchitis plus an additional 5 lbs. With that treadmill now in my game room, I don't have any legit reason to blow off getting a few miles in.
quoting my own post

knocked off almost 5 lbs in a little under two weeks by cutting out the booze and the flatbread pizza from the work cafe.

Possibly heading to Florida in late March/early April and wouldn't mind getting back to where i was last year, which means dropping about 1.5 lbs a week for the next 6-8 weeks.

MR25
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Postby MR25 » Fri Feb 09, 2018 7:00 am

I've been considering seeing a cognitive therapist since the new year.

My biggest issue, to which shad alluded, is finding the right one (or for me, just finishing one to begin with). There's like 150 within 5 miles of Oakland. I don't know how to properly narrow it down.

Hopefully going to ask my concussion specialist to see if she has any recommendations

count2infinity
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Postby count2infinity » Fri Feb 16, 2018 9:17 am

So I've been taking a daily probiotic gummy for a few weeks now... not sure if I see any benefits. Nothing has really changed as far as digestive... things.... are concerned. For the cost of a month's supply, I'm not sure I'll continue with them after I finish this bottle.

mikey
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Postby mikey » Fri Feb 16, 2018 9:35 am

I don't really know the probiotic life, but I've heard from people that take them on more than one occasion that if you're buying non-refrigerated ones then you're just wasting your money...not sure if that's still the case or if it was even true at the time...but maybe something in gummy form isn't the optimal form for the adult human body...

columbia
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Postby columbia » Fri Feb 16, 2018 9:39 am

I bomb NJ as soon as I get up and good to go for the remainder. I’d say they work for me.

count2infinity
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Postby count2infinity » Fri Feb 16, 2018 9:39 am

Hmmm... possibly. My wife's doctor recommended she take some as being pregnant has left her susceptible to yeast infections. I'd imagine this is just another case of the doctor not really knowing much about digestive health because from everything I've read online, probiotics do nothing for that. But while reading, it seemed like they'd be worth a shot.

I do drink a fair bit of kombucha and eat yogurt on the regs, so maybe I'm just already saturated with the critters from the probiotic?

Gabe
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Postby Gabe » Fri Feb 16, 2018 11:57 am

As I am wont to do, I view this thread occasionally and catch up (lurk) on multiple topics. Reading the stuff about anxiety, therapy, Rx treatment, is a topic I have been pretty familiar with. Everyone is affected differently, but I can hear myself in what you guys wrote, especially the overthinking, sweating, needing to talk stuff out.

I've dealt with an anxiety disorder my entire life. I didn't acknowledge that fact or get treatment until I was well into my 30's. My treatment consisted of finding the right medicine to help me address the problem. There is a pattern that this is somehow connected to the males in my family. My brother, who I can tell has this issue far worse than me, is still living the life of ignoring the problem. His solution is to remove himself and retreat from life in general to his own little safe space. My son, 15, is starting to exhibit similar tendencies as me. He overthinks to the point of social paralysis, he avoids stuff that should be addressed, all kinds of **** that we make excuses for, saying "I'm just an introvert" or something to that effect. With that said, I have been very open with him about my struggles and he asked me if he could go talk to someone about it. The doc gave him a low dose SSRI prescription. 2 months in, he's doing great.

My point is, that in my experience, this problem doesn't go away on its own. Maybe the solution for you will be to get pharmaceutical help, maybe it's just talking it out. I thought for 30+ years that I could handle it. "I got this". Nope, I didn't.

dodint
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Postby dodint » Fri Feb 16, 2018 12:17 pm

Yeah. I'm on the edge of something I can no longer manage on my own I think. Thanks for the reinforcement, it does help. I don't particularly view asking for help as a stigma, I just don't care enough about myself to make the time to fix myself. Family members are actively dying in front of me, my problems can't be that bad, right? I keep telling myself that 'next year' will be a 'normal' year and I can work through things till then, but I'm running out of hope for that.

Not to just sit a whinge, but this is how the last 12 years of my life has gone in terms of major life stressors:
2006: Went to Marine boot camp.
2007: Went to California for 6mo
2008: Went to Arizona for 4mo
2009: Spent entire year in Iraq
2010: Got married (ceremony, was paper married in 2006)
2011: Spent entire year in Afghanistan; graduated from college, undergrad.
2012: Transitioned out of USMC; changed jobs twice.
2013: Six months in Afghanistan as a contractor; came home because wife was diagnosed with Stage 3 Triple Negative Breast Cancer at 29.
2014: Changed jobs, moved from NC to WI, alone for the first 6 months.
2015: Bought house, wife moves to WI; graduated from my Masters program.
2016: Promoted twice, changed work location and moved from WI to PA, alone for the first six months; bought house; started law school.
2017: Wife moves to PA; my father in law dies three months later.
2018: Mother in law is dying, prognosis is in hours, not days.
A lot of that stuff, particularly the schooling, is self-generated. But that somehow makes it worse, I think, because it gives me less standing to complain about it since it's a condition I created. 2018 will be the first year calendar year that I spend with my wife in eight years, which is nice. If you don't count the 6-10 weeks I spend in Minnesota for work/school.

I really do need some time with stability. I've considered taking a break from my law program but at the end of this semester I'll be more than half done so I kind of want to keep pushing. Always with the keeping pushing.

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Postby Silentom » Fri Feb 16, 2018 12:21 pm

You need to take time for you, dodint. My life and situation is nowhere near that stressful, but you can bet your sweet buns that I will be parking ass for a while, once I finish the bedroom remodel.

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Postby mikey » Fri Feb 16, 2018 12:23 pm

Good posts, these last few. Helpful and relatable. :thumb:

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Postby Gabe » Fri Feb 16, 2018 12:25 pm

keeping pushing. Yep. I did that too. told myself to just keep busy. Married, had a couple kids, worked a 9-5 and earned my bachelors and then grad school in the evenings. problems still subsisted though. I'm not saying quit all the stuff that is keeping you busy. Really, getting your stuff in order mentally makes you better at all the things you want to do.

I'll be totally honest, the one area where I still struggle is communication. I think of things a billion times in my head, rehearse exactly what I want to say and then either never really say anything to the person that I need to speak with (cause for me, I've already had the conversation), or I get to the final point and miss conveying all the thought process I had behind it. It drives my wife insane.

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Postby grunthy » Fri Feb 16, 2018 12:29 pm

Good luck with everything, life is stressful. Therapy isn’t for quitters, quitting is doing nothing to help yourself.

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Postby Morkle » Fri Feb 16, 2018 12:30 pm

I made it this long, but have finally gotten sick this year. God almighty.

dodint
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Postby dodint » Fri Feb 16, 2018 12:40 pm

I think of things a billion times in my head, rehearse exactly what I want to say and then either never really say anything to the person that I need to speak with (cause for me, I've already had the conversation), or I get to the final point and miss conveying all the thought process I had behind it. It drives my wife insane.
Wow.

I do this too. I mentioned it to my Mom in passing a few weeks ago and she was astonished. I've been rehearsing interactions in my head since probably middle school, it's second nature. I wonder how prevalent that is.

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Postby obhave » Fri Feb 16, 2018 12:54 pm

I think of things a billion times in my head, rehearse exactly what I want to say and then either never really say anything to the person that I need to speak with (cause for me, I've already had the conversation), or I get to the final point and miss conveying all the thought process I had behind it. It drives my wife insane.
Wow.

I do this too. I mentioned it to my Mom in passing a few weeks ago and she was astonished. I've been rehearsing interactions in my head since probably middle school, it's second nature. I wonder how prevalent that is.
I do this too, and it surprisingly easy to know exactly predict how interactions are going to go.

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Postby Morkle » Fri Feb 16, 2018 1:05 pm

I think of things a billion times in my head, rehearse exactly what I want to say and then either never really say anything to the person that I need to speak with (cause for me, I've already had the conversation), or I get to the final point and miss conveying all the thought process I had behind it. It drives my wife insane.
Wow.

I do this too. I mentioned it to my Mom in passing a few weeks ago and she was astonished. I've been rehearsing interactions in my head since probably middle school, it's second nature. I wonder how prevalent that is.
I'm right there behind you guys, but I feel as if it's conditioned by my job history.

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Postby MR25 » Fri Feb 16, 2018 1:26 pm

I do it too.

And then I always think of the worst-case scenario of that conversation and decide not to go through with it.

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