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skullman80
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Postby skullman80 » Wed Apr 13, 2022 10:13 am

Damn NAN that's some scary stuff. Glad you are at least starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel finally. Keep us updated!

NAN
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Postby NAN » Wed Apr 13, 2022 10:33 am

I'll tell you 2 things though that I've learned through this journey:

1) No matter how good everything else in life is going for you, it can just take one thing to knock your mental health off the rails. I'll be honest, I was a person that always though "why would someone be depressed or have anxiety when all is going well". Man, you can't help what your brain is doing and it is difficult.

2) I've never noticed how much the weather can affect your mood. The weather being shitty, rainy, overcast/cold for the past few weeks has not helped the progress, but I notice a significant mood change when that sun comes out and there is some warmth.

NAN
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Postby NAN » Wed Apr 13, 2022 10:37 am

Never going to be easy to come off of Xanax / clonopin. Just recognize that fluctuating dosage is going to impact mood and physical well-being. I would keep working to wean off the xanax.
Agree. Fortunately I am on a low dose, and my doctor made sure I didn't stay on it too long. I mean, there are people that take 4 to 8 times more than I do for much longer periods that try to come off. Yeesh. This low dose is difficult enough, but I do realize the need to wean off and stop and not rely on it. Which is why I continue to push, even though my body and mind don't want me too sometimes.

But I've also recognized that I am feeling a little better everyday even though the suffering, and hopefully if I keep up with what I'm doing, I can make it through. I'm at the point I no longer count down the minutes until I can take my next pill and actually push off as much as I can to NOT take it within the past 5 days. And it has resulted in me not taking it for the most part of the last 3 days.

shafnutz05
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Postby shafnutz05 » Wed Apr 13, 2022 11:38 am

1) No matter how good everything else in life is going for you, it can just take one thing to knock your mental health off the rails. I'll be honest, I was a person that always though "why would someone be depressed or have anxiety when all is going well". Man, you can't help what your brain is doing and it is difficult.
Yeah bud, depression/anxiety can be especially frustrating when everything else in your life is going pretty well.

My wife has been dealing with long COVID every day since the end of January. Some days are better than others, but with her it's just generalized pain and fatigue to do anything. She hasn't dropped off at all in terms of the kids or work, and I know it's killing her. Really hoping you, her and anyone else dealing with the long COVID stuff right now see improvements as the weather warms up.

CBear3
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Postby CBear3 » Wed Apr 13, 2022 5:42 pm

Way to go NAN, sounds like you're making good progress. Keep your chin up.
Sorry to hear about your wife shaf. It's got to be tough keeping up with the littles. I know when I'm healthy how guilty I feel that I might not be doing enough, I can't imagine the pressure to keep up when you're feeling like that. Although from what I've gleaned about you I'm sure you've got her back if she needs it.
Good support systems make all the difference.

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Postby Dickie Dunn » Thu Apr 14, 2022 12:15 pm

Effective June 1, the price of Peloton’s all-access subscription plan in the United States will go up to $44 per month, from $39. In Canada, the fee will rise to $55 per month, from $49. Pricing for international members will remain unchanged, Peloton said. The cost of a digital-only membership, for people who don’t own any of Peloton’s equipment, will still be $12.99 a month.

dodint
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Postby dodint » Thu Apr 14, 2022 12:20 pm

Thanks Biden.

DigitalGypsy66
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Postby DigitalGypsy66 » Thu Apr 14, 2022 12:27 pm

Cheaper than a gym membership. Well, not with the cost of the machine, but you know what I mean.

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Postby shoeshine boy » Thu Apr 14, 2022 12:27 pm

The cost of a digital-only membership, for people who don’t own any of Peloton’s equipment, will still be $12.99 a month.
Image

for now.
the new Peloton CEO came from Netflix. it was inevitable that monthly prices would increase. :pop:

NAN
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Postby NAN » Thu Apr 14, 2022 12:41 pm

Day 2 off the Xanax completely is worse than Day 1!

Don't know if it's rebound anxiety or not, but it's a struggle today.

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Postby AliquippaPen » Thu Apr 14, 2022 12:46 pm

Day 2 off the Xanax completely is worse than Day 1!

Don't know if it's rebound anxiety or not, but it's a struggle today.
Kicking Xanax is an incredibly difficult thing. I wish you the best and if it helps at all, I encourage you to keep posting updates here.

I took Xanax one time and knew if I ever took it again I'd never stop.

crusherstasiak
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Postby crusherstasiak » Thu Apr 14, 2022 12:51 pm

I took Xanax one time and knew if I ever took it again I'd never stop.
https://www.benzoinfo.com/christy-huff/

AliquippaPen
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Postby AliquippaPen » Thu Apr 14, 2022 2:23 pm

I took Xanax one time and knew if I ever took it again I'd never stop.
https://www.benzoinfo.com/christy-huff/
? Interesting but I'm missing the point

MrKennethTKangaroo
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Postby MrKennethTKangaroo » Thu Apr 14, 2022 2:39 pm

Day 2 off the Xanax completely is worse than Day 1!

Don't know if it's rebound anxiety or not, but it's a struggle today.
Go complain about the Pirates. Always helps me

NAN
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Postby NAN » Thu Apr 14, 2022 3:14 pm

I took Xanax one time and knew if I ever took it again I'd never stop.
https://www.benzoinfo.com/christy-huff/
? Interesting but I'm missing the point
Even a low dose for a few weeks can make you dependent. And the negative affects can be severe.

When I first had my tremor, and I blew up with severe anxiety because I made the mistake of googling my symptoms and went down a rabbit hole, I couldn't sleep for like 3 or 4 days or function. My PCP prescibed me 0.5mg of Klonopin to help me sleep. I tell you what, when I took that first pill, it was awesome. After a month and a half he told me to discontinue as I was not on it for more than a few weeks, and it was a low dose. I'm a big dude, and he said I wouldn't need to taper at that short term.

That's when I went into my sever depression and had uncontrollable anxiety. I was waiting for my nuero appointment and was just stuck in a state of dispare waiting. Went back to my PCP, and he bumped up my Lexapro and put me on the Xanax for short term until the Lexapro kicked in. I took 0.5mg in the morning and at night. It was great for the first few weeks, but then I'd start to get the anxiety symptoms around 2pm every day as those doses started to be less effective and it has such a short life in the blood.

I had a follow up appointment and he told me to start going off the Xanax as the Lexapro should be seeing it's peak effect. (It did help with the depression). But this time he told me to taper off over like 3 weeks, but it would be safe because it was still a low dose and I was on it for like 5 or 6 weeks.

I started the taper, and the first week went well. Then I had quarter end close, worked until 2am, wife out of town, and kids fighting, and I had a sever anxiety attack towards the end of the week. This was when I was in week 2 of the taper and at 1/2 dose. I did one night of updose to the full pill to get me through, but went back to the half the next morning. THe 3rd week (last week) I went to a quarter of the original dose. It was difficult.

So on Tuesday, it was time in the taper to drop. So I didn't take my pill that evening. THe next morning I was jittery/hyper, but it was managable if I kept busy. By mid day I was ok, but had a panic attack around 3pm. Went for a walk and shot some BB. Last night was ok for bedtime. Today, woke up and was a mess. Just anxiety out the ass, jittery, shaking. It was tough. I forced my self to come into the office instead of working from home and I'm glad I did. It was difficult this morning, and I get a few flareups, but being around some people and working has distracted me. I just went for a walk as the sun came out.

I didn't think it would be this difficult only being on these for a short period of time and at a low dose. I'm hoping this isnt the "natural" anxiety, and is part of the withdrawal of the medicine and hopefully over the next few days/weeks it will get better. I know @Shyster mentioned in the COVID thread he went through this.

It sucks. Therapy has helped me cope with my thoughts and look for things to do when my thoughts start to mess with me. The essential tremor ramps up some with the anxiety, causing a snow ball effect, but overall, the tremor isn't bad. A lot of it's in my head. And that's what I have to learn to deal with.

crusherstasiak
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Postby crusherstasiak » Thu Apr 14, 2022 3:46 pm

I took Xanax one time and knew if I ever took it again I'd never stop.
https://www.benzoinfo.com/christy-huff/
? Interesting but I'm missing the point
my bad
i neglected to include the first highlighted link in dr. huff's intro, part of which is reprinted below
October 13, 2016

To Whom It May Concern:

I am a 40 year old cardiologist from the state of Texas, and I have been harmed by benzodiazepines. I was prescribed Xanax 0.5 mg three times daily as needed by my primary care physician during a health crisis in August 2015 (severe dry eye syndrome). I started out taking Xanax 0.25 mg nightly only as a sleep aid, as my eyes felt like sandpaper and were interfering with my sleep.

After only a few weeks, I began to experience severe anxiety during the day, which required more Xanax (up to 1 mg per day). I began to think that I was going crazy. I also developed a tremor and underwent an extensive neurologic evaluation, including a lumbar puncture that resulted in a severe spinal headache and an ER visit for a blood patch to stop the leaking cerebrospinal fluid. Xanax was never suggested as a cause for my tremor, although my dose relieved the symptoms of the tremor. It got to the point where I needed to dose every 6 hours as the Xanax would only last a few hours, then I would experience severe symptoms like difficulty breathing, chest tightness, and inability to swallow. I lost about 15 pounds (I am only 5’3” and got down to 115 pounds). I looked like a skeleton. I was terrified to be alone. I would wake up at night after 3 hours of sleep with my heart pounding and in a sheer panic.

After doing my own research, I discovered that I was experiencing inter-dose withdrawals and had become dependent on Xanax. I tried to taper off directly, but the symptoms were too strong. I spoke with my primary doctor and told her that I was sure I was dependent on Xanax and wanted to taper off. She told me that my problem was all anxiety as I had only been on the Xanax a few weeks, so I could safely cold turkey. She basically treated me as if I were crazy. I knew that I would be unable to cold turkey given the severity of my symptoms. She gave me a prescription for Lexapro which increased my symptoms, and I stopped it after only 3 days. She also gave me enough Xanax to complete a rapid 2-3 week taper.

Fortunately, I found the Ashton manual and Benzobuddies support group online and scheduled an appointment with the best psychiatrist in town. I brought him a copy of the Ashton manual and told him I was interested in tapering off Xanax by crossing over to Valium. Fortunately he listened to me, agreed that I was indeed dependent on the Xanax, and he agreed with my plan to taper off with Valium.

During a period of about 5-6 weeks, I crossed over to Valium while weaning off the Xanax. Once I was on a stable dose of Valium (15 mg daily), I began my taper. I have been tapering Valium since January of this year and have proven to be very sensitive to withdrawal symptoms. I am currently down to 8.5 mg daily.

I experience a host of benzo withdrawal symptoms (I had none of these prior to starting the drug), the worst of which include a pounding heart, tremor, severe nausea, low appetite, insomnia, muscle spasm, severe acid reflux, severe constipation, confusion, anxiety, and depression. I constantly live in a state of terror and “fight or flight” mode.

tifosi77
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Postby tifosi77 » Thu Apr 14, 2022 3:53 pm

Am I the only one that's both surprised and slightly disappointed to see a crusher post with a spoiler tag that doesn't reveal ACB?

shafnutz05
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Postby shafnutz05 » Thu Apr 14, 2022 5:24 pm

Benzos are worse than opiates imo. So much easier to get addicted and the WD is nightmarish. Biggest reason why despite my anxiety issues, I stick with just therapy.

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Postby Shyster » Thu Apr 14, 2022 5:28 pm

I do believe that I was having both some inter-dose anxiety with the Klonopin and also some paradoxical anxiety. I might be wrong, but I got to the point where I thought that the Klonopin was actually prolonging the anxiety I was experiencing. I can definitely say that I had some rebound anxiety when I finally stopped, and that's after a fairly long taper where I think I was lowering the doses by 0.25 at a time, and waiting around a week between lowering the doses. I certainly don't think that by that point the Klonopin was helping me. I had the exact same experience with taking it. At the beginning, I could feel a wave of peace and calm wash over me after taking the pill. But that certainly didn't last beyond maybe the first month or so. After that, I didn't really feel any different after doses, and I was still feeling anxious.

My psychiatrist also told me the "Oh, you aren't taking very much so you can just stop whenever you want" line, but I'm thinking that someone who says that has never been on a benzo for any significant period of time. Some people can stop at any time, but some people are very sensitive to dose reductions. I don't think I was one of the really bad people who have terrible withdrawal, but I also don't think I was in the "can stop at any time with no repercussions" group.

Be on the watch out for muscle jerks. I had those when I was tapering down. Like my arm or leg would just randomly twitch for no reason. I'd learned from reading sites like benzobuddies that those were a possible thing, so I wasn't worried or surprised when they happened. They didn't last too long once I finally stopped.

NAN
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Postby NAN » Thu Apr 14, 2022 7:45 pm

Oh I know about the muscle twitches. When I was tapering they went non stop. Now it is a random twitch or so.

It's crazy how different I feel from the morning to the evening. Hard to function in the morning but I'm actually functional at night. And the anxiety is reduced.

skullman80
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Postby skullman80 » Fri Apr 15, 2022 8:26 am

Retook the FTP test after doing the Discover your PZ program... bumped it up about 20 or 21 points so not too bad.

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Postby dodint » Fri Apr 15, 2022 8:41 am

Nice. Mine would probably be lower at this point. :lol:

shafnutz05
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Postby shafnutz05 » Fri Apr 15, 2022 9:05 am

Image

skullman80
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Postby skullman80 » Fri Apr 15, 2022 9:20 am

Image
If you are hooked up through strava or syncmyworkout you might be able to go back and manually put in the activity and have it match the peloton workout (assuming you are using a garmin). I feel like I've done that before when I've done the same.

I think you can also set you watch to auto start an activity if you forget after a certain period of time. I know my watch will start the walking after 10 minutes of doing it, and will retroactively count the prior 10 minutes in the activity. I assume there is something similar for rides.

shafnutz05
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Postby shafnutz05 » Fri Apr 15, 2022 12:01 pm

Thanks...I should probably get my act together with one of those now that I am running and biking. Although I've barely run since getting the bike.

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