Fifth Avenue Forum

Yo that’s dirty. I’d never hold an employee of mine back.

We have a team member on paternity leave, has been gone since before Christmas. My boss is holding me here until the team member comes back so I can turn over with him.

So, yes, childfree workers are tangibly and negatively impacted by these policies and behaviors that we can never gain material benefit from. Just a little 'gotcha' I can quote the next time it comes up in the PDT or wherever.

Yeah. That's a tough spot. I would have approached it like "Hey, I'm in a tough spot with new dad being out until XX. Would you mind sticking around until he gets back? I'd really appreciate it." And then I'd hope that I was a good enough boss to you since you started reporting to me to hang around a bit longer. If you told me to cram it with acorns, I'd understand and be alright with that too.

I need an update on this @dodint. This is bothering me

New page. Again

congrats

Yeah. That's a tough spot. I would have approached it like "Hey, I'm in a tough spot with new dad being out until XX. Would you mind sticking around until he gets back? I'd really appreciate it." And then I'd hope that I was a good enough boss to you since you started reporting to me to hang around a bit longer. If you told me to cram it with acorns, I'd understand and be alright with that too.

I need an update on this dodint. This is bothering me

Not much happening. I have been scaling back my meetings with the old team and starting to pick up meetings with the new team so when 14-March comes I'm already in the full swing of things. The new role is a policy accreditation function, and I'm being assigned to cover my old division so that I can do the most effective work immediately and the old team will have an outsider contributing to the reporting function of that process.

Like I mentioned, the biggest effect of the stall tactic is that I don't care how **** they are anymore. Without that I imagine I would have kept one foot in each job a while longer. Instead I'm slowly stepping out on the old position before it even becomes official. That said, the promotion is temporary so if they end up hiring someone else permanently (unlikely, but it's FedGov HR so who knows) I fall back to my old team. I can't burn the bridge all the way down.

I double checked and the baby leave guy isn't coming back until 17-March so I won't directly turn over with him as I'll already be gone. *wanking motion*

My boss pulled out all the stops to promote me within the team and I shut him down on it because I'm in desperate need of a change of scenery, so I'm not going to hammer him more than necessary. HR is really screwing him up and down and his behavior is more of a symptom of that than any kind of defect in leadership or malicious intent.

How much paternity time do you guys get? Christ.

New law last year. All Federal employees are entitled to 12 weeks of baby leave.

Wow. I felt guilty for taking 2 weeks when our daughter was born.

You only get it once every twelve months, though.

You should what they have for leave in Sweden. My brother-in-law took six months off to be home with their son after the year my sister-in-law stayed at home. He could've taken more at a reduced salary, too.

It's almost like they want you to raise children or something over there...

I am not a parent blah blah blah but I'd be more inclined to take the leave in smaller chunks spread out rather than tend to a newborn for 12 weeks then go back to my regular work schedule in perpetuity. You get 12 weeks in the 12 month time period, so you can spread it out. I think my guy was scared HR would mess it up because it's a new policy so he just blew his 12-week wad all at once. Through the winter.

Same - I'd be taking them in chunks at a time. Two weeks right away, then random days here and there, probably.

If it is 6 weeks, I would think that would cause disruptions throughout the year if you used it like vacation. Coworkers/managers would always be wondering when those days are and it would be a pain to keep track of that.

Our policy is six weeks and taken within 12 months of birth and has to be contiguous. Taking it right away is a mistake, IMO. Take it when mom goes back to work or in the summer or something.

Source of the post Taking it right away is a mistake, IMO.

My wife would murder you for saying this. Me being home for those first two weeks gave her much needed breaks throughout the day.

Disruptions are not a factor. It's a straight up entitlement, he didn't have to clear it with anyone. Just gave HR the days and he was gone.

But from a practical standpoint it could be easy to manage. You know how much leave, you know you have to use it in a year. Using it like sick leave would be shitty (and difficult, imo, given the HR intervention in it) but saying "I'm going to take two weeks every two months on these days" would be a solid course of action and within the spirit of the rule.

I could see the opposite though. Someone just randomly peppering 60 days of immediate leave whenever they felt like it. But a person doing that is probably already a team member that isn't pulling their weight to begin with.

My guy is a fantastic worker; he's going to come back and be immediately promoted to the position I passed up. And I don't fault him personally for the rule, under the law he earned it. I would've taken it if I were in that situation (but, as mentioned, spread out).

Mrs NTP is weak. Tell her to sack up. If you can’t breastfeed a child AND fold laundry at the same time, what kind of woman are you?

In all seriousness. All kids are different and situations are different. All things being equal, I think delaying the paternity leave really helps with dad bonding. Huge IMO here. But if the wife wants you home right away, 100% stay home right away.

My wife had two c-sections, so she had to take the six weeks right after the birth. My older son was born in May, so she was able to take a month and then have the summer off.

For my youngest son, born in September, she took the six weeks off and her mom came for a bit until we could find daycare. I was at my current employer, and we didn't have a paternal leave in place for faculty until a couple of years ago. I had to string together sick and vacation leave, my mother-in-law's schedule, the Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays, to wait for a space to open up in daycare.

We added a paternity leave policy a couple of years ago, which I had a hand in writing. That was pretty cool to see it happen, even if I didn't get to use it. We get paid shite, so any perk that doesn't cost (much) is a benefit.

The main issue is most employers run lean - no extra employees to cover for longer term absences/leaves. My employer is this way, and I don't see that changing anytime soon.

What do you guys actually find useful in reviews? I have always found them more stress than useful when I was on the non-manager side of things.

What do you guys actually find useful in reviews? I have always found them more stress than useful when I was on the non-manager side of things.

I prefer constant feedback/discussion with my supervisor. This way when review time comes there are no surprises. Just tell me what sort of raise I'm getting and let's move on.

So I'm having major heartburn about internally applying for another position. Manager position came up with another team (lateral band move), after last year's manager fiasco and working my ass off to only be told haphazardly that it wasn't in the cards...I felt awfully spurned by that.

Our company always tells people internally to apply for other internal positions that open up, etc. I want to do that, but I'm still OK with the actual tactical work of my current job. What I don't want to happen, is apply, not get the job, and then be labeled a quitter/treated differently because I considered another role within the company.

I also have to tell my manager post-application, but it's honestly two things. A chance to actually lead a team, and a different part of the company that I'm interested in, and feel is necessary to know, to continue to move upwards.

So I'm having major heartburn about internally applying for another position. Manager position came up with another team (lateral band move), after last year's manager fiasco and working my ass off to only be told haphazardly that it wasn't in the cards...I felt awfully spurned by that.

Our company always tells people internally to apply for other internal positions that open up, etc. I want to do that, but I'm still OK with the actual tactical work of my current job. What I don't want to happen, is apply, not get the job, and then be labeled a quitter/treated differently because I considered another role within the company.

I also have to tell my manager post-application, but it's honestly two things. A chance to actually lead a team, and a different part of the company that I'm interested in, and feel is necessary to know, to continue to move upwards.

That's why we're not required to tell our current manager about applying for an open position until we are offered the job.

Yea, I'm required to tell my manager post-application and prior to interviews, which is company policy. We're told literally monthly that if there's a position that's open, we should apply for it, and talk to our managers about it.

That's always easier said than done, imo.

That's a dumb policy. I would assume most managers would be cool with it and not punish their employees for applying but there's always the chance of an dadhole on a power trip. My manager didn't know about my new position until I was in salary negotiations on the new gig.

That policy is bad and I’m wondering if it is in place to keep/limit people from moving around internally. That is not a good workplace culture policy

The the actual policy itself says manager's are encouraged to be supportive and speak with the person that wants to leave about their career goals.

The frustrating thing, is that there's seemingly no movement, unless you do three things: leave the company, apply internally, or be handed a job because the manager picks you personally. The third option is what happened last year to me.