Job and General Employment Thread

Lemon Berry Lobster
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Postby Lemon Berry Lobster » Mon Aug 13, 2018 1:21 pm

If everyone had to call off for their wife being emotional no one would ever work...

Morkle
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Postby Morkle » Mon Aug 13, 2018 1:29 pm

I like to read this as Stan knows he has everyone conned and is just seeing how far he can go until he gets caught.

NAN
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Postby NAN » Mon Aug 13, 2018 1:32 pm

I hope Stan has a nice long career there. I like reading Stan updates.

NTP66
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Postby NTP66 » Mon Aug 13, 2018 1:33 pm

I think I know what's going on here. Stan is not actually Stan, but a 3rd party sent to the office to do Stan's actual work. The groundwork for this con has already been laid.

meow
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Postby meow » Mon Aug 13, 2018 1:40 pm

If everyone had to call off for their wife being emotional no one would ever work...
Settle down, single guy

Lemon Berry Lobster
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Postby Lemon Berry Lobster » Mon Aug 13, 2018 1:51 pm

If everyone had to call off for their wife being emotional no one would ever work...
Settle down, single guy
One of us has to work.

dodint
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Postby dodint » Mon Aug 13, 2018 2:00 pm

If everyone had to call off for their wife being emotional no one would ever work...
Settle down, single guy
One of us has to work.
:lol: :thumb:

Going back to my very long ago 'parents are a burden on the workplace' argument I had here I laughed a little too hard at that quip.

tifosi77
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Postby tifosi77 » Mon Aug 13, 2018 6:22 pm

"IP/Litigation Samurai" for the Legal Ninja team at company in Palo Alto whose name is ripping off Tolkien. And it's not like it's a gimmick for a trick job title: Ninja appears six times, and samurai appears five times throughout the description.

Yeah, I want every part of that.

Shyster
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Postby Shyster » Mon Aug 13, 2018 6:48 pm

Have some fun with it. Get an interview and show up in a kimono and a Daishō set of swords. Feign confusion if anyone objects. "I thought you were looking for samurai?"

NTP66
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Postby NTP66 » Mon Aug 13, 2018 6:57 pm

And then cut off somebody’s hand.

tifosi77
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Postby tifosi77 » Mon Aug 13, 2018 6:58 pm

Well, it's a Peter Thiel company, so.....

NTP66
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Postby NTP66 » Mon Aug 13, 2018 6:59 pm

Did I say hand? I meant head.

Shyster
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Postby Shyster » Mon Aug 13, 2018 9:59 pm

It would be more accurate to commit seppuku when rejected for the job.

NTP66
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Postby NTP66 » Tue Aug 14, 2018 7:05 am

No chance in hell I Google that word.

Lemon Berry Lobster
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Postby Lemon Berry Lobster » Tue Aug 14, 2018 7:17 am

Seppuku (切腹, "cutting [the] belly"), sometimes referred to as harakiri (腹切り, "abdomen/belly cutting", a native Japanese kun reading), is a form of Japanese ritual suicide by disembowelment. It was originally reserved for samurai, but was also practiced by other Japanese people later on to restore honor for themselves or for their family. A samurai practice, seppuku was used either voluntarily by samurai to die with honor rather than fall into the hands of their enemies (and likely suffer torture) or as a form of capital punishment for samurai who had committed serious offenses, or performed because they had brought shame to themselves.

NTP66
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Postby NTP66 » Tue Aug 14, 2018 7:19 am

See? I didn't even have to lift a finger.

Lemon Berry Lobster
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Postby Lemon Berry Lobster » Tue Aug 14, 2018 7:21 am

Took less in copy and pasting than you did to type the response.

NTP66
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Postby NTP66 » Tue Aug 14, 2018 7:25 am

Yeah, but I made you do the work, dodint.

Lemon Berry Lobster
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Postby Lemon Berry Lobster » Tue Aug 14, 2018 7:27 am

Yeah but I hope your glued down polyps float away, NTP66.

NTP66
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Postby NTP66 » Tue Aug 14, 2018 7:29 am

NOW THAT'S JUST COLD.

Lemon Berry Lobster
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Postby Lemon Berry Lobster » Tue Aug 14, 2018 7:31 am

Image

mamaemeritus
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Postby mamaemeritus » Tue Aug 14, 2018 7:59 am

Stan's Wife Update:

She "jumped her head on a desk and required stitches". (This required an ER visit at 4am?)

She's already back in Cleveland, no problem, and he'll be in today.

:?:

NTP66
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Postby NTP66 » Tue Aug 14, 2018 8:04 am

Does Stan happen to own a red stapler?

Lemon Berry Lobster
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Postby Lemon Berry Lobster » Tue Aug 14, 2018 8:08 am

Stan's Wife Update:

She "jumped her head on a desk and required stitches". (This required an ER visit at 4am?)

She's already back in Cleveland, no problem, and he'll be in today.

:?:
Maybe they were makin whoopee.

mamaemeritus
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Postby mamaemeritus » Tue Aug 14, 2018 8:22 am


Maybe they were makin whoopee.
THAT'S WHAT MY COWORKER SAID! :lol: :lol: :lol:

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