Thread of Love v6.9

[dodint]

This is kind of **** up

Que?

[King Colby]

This is kind of **** up

Que?

Having a named backup for your wife?

[mikey]

Next of (s)kin...

[dodint]

Oh. I mean, there was a whole episode of Everybody Loves Raymond about it.

I only mentioned it because I had previously stated that there was little hope for me if we wife passed. Since she has fought off cancer twice and is still in her 30s it's a reality we have discussed.

I guess if you look at it like a depth chart it could seem crass. To me the idea of two lifelong friends deciding to unite in their 50s or 60s after each being dealt horrible relationship outcomes is pretty sweet.

[meecrofilm]

Next of (s)kin...

[MalkinIsMyHomeboy]

Yeah... sounds like the app is doing what it's supposed to: allowing for the opportunity for people to meet each other that in no other way would typically meet each other.

My best relationships are from school, work, and now as I'm older with a kid: neighbors and vendors at farmers markets. People that I'm in close proximity to (or were in close proximity to) on a semi-regular basis. Perhaps if the problem is the dating apps, it's time to get off the dating apps and try something different.

it’s not that simple. I would balance using the apps with not using the apps if I got overly frustrated but it’s not like trying to meet people in real life is much easier. I got pretty damn good at asking women out in person and had similar problems. Had an amazing first date with one that I had asked out in person and she then ghosted me…eventually, two months later, saying that she had found someone else. It’s the same sort of issues as online dating…who knows how many other people the person is going out with at any one moment


plus, there’s a tremendous amount of FOMO with the apps. In person, I have no clue who’s 1. In the market 2. Attracted to men and 3. Attracted to me without at least some amount of conversation…it’s very tiring and anxiety-inducing at times

on the apps, it’s a much more optimized process so you’re feeling better about your opportunity to meet someone. But also, the more opportunities you get sting more the more they don’t materialize. It’s soul-sucking to use apps for days, months, years etc only to never find a relationship


dating in 2023 sucks. It’s never been particularly easy but it’s turning into a major mental health issue imo for a lot of people

[faftorial]

Oh. I mean, there was a whole episode of Everybody Loves Raymond about it.

I only mentioned it because I had previously stated that there was little hope for me if we wife passed. Since she has fought off cancer twice and is still in her 30s it's a reality we have discussed.

I guess if you look at it like a depth chart it could seem crass. To me the idea of two lifelong friends deciding to unite in their 50s or 60s after each being dealt horrible relationship outcomes is pretty sweet.

What's her backup plan if you go first?

[MalkinIsMyHomeboy]

Letang

[faftorial]

Letang

He does track his car and accidents can happen.

[count2infinity]

You have a girlfriend now, don’t you mimh? Where did you meet her?

[dodint]

Oh. I mean, there was a whole episode of Everybody Loves Raymond about it.

I only mentioned it because I had previously stated that there was little hope for me if we wife passed. Since she has fought off cancer twice and is still in her 30s it's a reality we have discussed.

I guess if you look at it like a depth chart it could seem crass. To me the idea of two lifelong friends deciding to unite in their 50s or 60s after each being dealt horrible relationship outcomes is pretty sweet.

What's her backup plan if you go first?

She plans to date but not remarry. Her aunt did that, has been stringing the guy along for like 15 years but refuses to marry him out of respect for her dead husband. Also sweet (sorta).

[meow]

lemme get mrs dodint’s number. you know. just in case

[MalkinIsMyHomeboy]

You have a girlfriend now, don’t you mimh? Where did you meet her?

yeah. Hinge, a dating app, funnily. I don’t think it’s any coincidence that she’s only been in the US since June as to what has helped us form the relationship too. As in, I was probably the first and only person she had met through the apps and she wasn’t really influenced by the idea of “upgrading” or whatever by continuing to use them

I mean, I guess it’s possible that we are just very compatible (which is true, we are very good together) and we would’ve ended up together regardless but considering I have a Rickard Rakell-esque shooting percentage of 1 for a quintillion right now, I think the fact that she’s newer to the American dating game has a major influence

[count2infinity]

Not gonna lie, my man… this whole convo reeks of inferiority complex. If you come into it with an “I’m never going to be good enough” attitude, well… plant, grow.

I’m glad you’ve got someone now, but get the f*ck out of your own way. You’re good enough. Act like it.

[faftorial]

Not gonna lie, my man… this whole convo reeks of inferiority complex. If you come into it with an “I’m never going to be good enough” attitude, well… plant, grow.

I’m glad you’ve got someone now, but get the f*ck out of your own way. You’re good enough. Act like it.

Well said.

[MalkinIsMyHomeboy]

lol

1. If mental health issues were that easy, no one would have issues. Cmon c2i, I know you’re smarter than that


2. I’ve been seeing a therapist for 6 years. I have a level of self esteem and self awareness that I’m willing to bet most people don’t have. That doesn’t mean getting rejected over and over again doesn’t have a debilitating toll on confidence/mental health


3. Nothing I said is my own opinion. The negative effects of dating apps are quantifiable and commonly held

https://bmcpsychology.biomedcentral.com ... 020-0373-1

Conclusion

Current SBDA users were found to have significantly higher rates of psychological distress, anxiety and depression, but were not found to have significantly lower self-esteem.

The agony of partner choice: The effect of excessive partner availability on fear of being single, self-esteem, and partner choice overload

https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/a ... 3221003009

Despite these limitations, we can conclude that excessive profile browsing on dating apps can have adverse effects on variables related to overall well-being (fear of being single, state self-esteem) and on feelings of partner choice overload. When people sign up on a dating app, they probably hope to hear that, based on their personal data and preferences, the number of partners potentially available for them is high – the more, the better. They might hope that high partner availability will boost their confidence in finding their “perfect match” and increase their self-esteem. Yet, regrettably, the act of evaluating an excessively high number of profiles has exactly the opposite effect.

[count2infinity]

You literally just said a major reason you believe your current girlfriend is with you is because she hasn’t been in this country long enough to know any better.

I know it’s not as easy as saying “hey, quit being that way.” But Jesus…

[King Colby]

Imo is nice to have a neutral party call you out

[MalkinIsMyHomeboy]

You literally just said a major reason you believe your current girlfriend is with you is because she hasn’t been in this country long enough to know any better.

What? When I said that it had nothing to do with me. It’s the fact that she hasn’t been exposed to the chaos and challenge of dating spending a significant time on dating apps the US

[Kaiser]

One of the reasons I was able to slay (before marriage) Was that I never tried. When I went out, I was there for fun and fun only. No pickup lines, no asking for numbers. Doing that stuff a million times doesn't mean the dating world is f***ed. To me you sound desperate. If you didn't have a girl I'd tell you to bench yourself for awhile and stop caring so much.

[MalkinIsMyHomeboy]

Imo is nice to have a neutral party call you out

why the **** does anyone need to be “called out”?


I genuinely don’t understand yalls angle. I’m getting pretty vulnerable here talking about something that made me detest living (trying to find a partner) and again, for whatever reason, it’s just turning into **** on MIMH mode. I’m not going after anyone, just talking about painfully difficult it is for people who are single these days yet it’s turned into this dumb bullshit

[MalkinIsMyHomeboy]

One of the reasons I was able to slay (before marriage) Was that I never tried. When I went out, I was there for fun and fun only. No pickup lines, no asking for numbers. Doing that stuff a million times doesn't mean the dating world is f***ed. To me you sound desperate. If you didn't have a girl I'd tell you to bench yourself for awhile and stop caring so much.

Desperation has nothing to do with it. I could’ve been in a relationship a long time ago. But I knew those women weren’t right for me and I had to end it

I know it sounds odd considering I mentioned paradox of choice before but I know how important it is to not just find someone but to find someone you’re really compatible with and I knew I just wasn’t compatible. I’m guessing if I was desperate I wouldn’t have cared about that and just jumped into whatever to not be alone

[MalkinIsMyHomeboy]

I would strongly recommend reading the things I’ve posted if you want to say something like “MIMH you’re trying to hard” or anything. The dating landscape these days is vicious to most people

here’s another one

[Shyster]

To fade the heat from MIMH, I'm 48 and have been on precisely one date in my life, which my late mother set up. That was maybe 15 years ago.

[meow]

To fade the heat from MIMH, I'm 48 and have been on precisely one date in my life, which my late mother set up. That was maybe 15 years ago.

this is the bravest thing I’ve ever heard someone say