Thread of Love v6.9

[MR25]

People found a workaround at one point where they could delete their profile and start a new one and get the boost again, but the companies may have figured out a way to prevent that now, idk, it's been a couple years.

They have. At least as far as Tinder is concerned, they retain either your verified email or your phone for 3 months post account deletion. You also need to uninstall the app from your phone so it clears your cache and prevents the app from connecting to any previous info stored that may mess with the algorithm.

[King Colby]

But the notion of trying to find one of those women is so daunting to me that I basically just... don't.

I get all that but i have to ask... what is the main thing stopping you? Is it lack of interest, or inability/unwillingness to take on this daunting task?

[mikey]

One of the reasons I was able to slay (before marriage) Was that I never tried. When I went out, I was there for fun and fun only. No pickup lines, no asking for numbers. Doing that stuff a million times doesn't mean the dating world is f***ed. To me you sound desperate. If you didn't have a girl I'd tell you to bench yourself for awhile and stop caring so much.

Big facts here. When there's no agenda, you can't fail. When you can't fail, you exude confidence. When you exude confidence, you're getting empty netters.

Or if you're PFIDC, you're getting empty nesters. Still count though.

[RonnieFranchise]

Semi pertinent 30 year old anecdote from a guy who's been with the same woman for, well, 30 years now so this actually happened 6 months before I met Mrs. F.

Night before graduation from Grove City, at the bar (on the night the Pens lost game 7 to the Islanders), I don't know about now but back then certain groups of GCC students spent a decent amount of time at bars in the outlying areas.

Sitting with a girl I knew from my language classes. We never really hung out outside of class. We were both greek, I know that's not a popular thing on this board but times are different now. I was in sort of the regular guys who don't fit in elsewhere fraternity, we had a black member and a gay member both of which are exceedingly rare at uber conservative GCC, She was in the hot girls sorority but she was more of the aforementioned 5-7's. Being that the hot girl sorority hung out with the preppy guy and jock fraternities, we didn't really hang out.

Not letting the loss get me down I asked her to dance and she was drunk enough to go for it. While we're dancing she goes "so why didn't you ever ask me out?" The fact that she could have also asked me out notwithstanding, I guess it was stupid college social constructs, maybe because she hung in higher circles than I did and all, but I guess I just didn't really think of it. I was shy, she seemed kind of shy, and I think at that point I was attracted to girls with bigger personalities and in fact married one. She just wasn't who I was looking for.

Maybe had I asked her out years before I'd have had a perfectly nice girlfriend all through college and a different wife. Maybe I'd have had one date and we'd have figured out we weren't compatible like that. Felt like a missed opportunity because I had a blind spot I guess.

No regrets whatsoever, just sometimes you wonder what you missed out on.

[genoscoif]

My goodness mimh. You found your unicorn...your Alabama in True Romance that 'just got in' but hasn't been tainted. Given your openness in this thread regarding your issues with self-esteem and self-confidence, she is an example of a person that was likely the only type of person you were going to be able to move forward with via an app. It seems to this old dude that's thankfully never personally used one, but has several friends that regularly use them, that given the 'how' you meet people via the app requires a 'more than normal' amount of self-assurance and confidence. You're meeting someone in an environment that is, by its nature, hyper-focused on evaluation and comparison...and there is always 2 or 3 other yards that might have greener grass. It would be incredibly difficult to shut out that aspect and open yourself up completely if you have self esteem issues. You're always going to be guarded.

Your girl's lack of history in that environment has most likely allowed you to let some of your guard down and be more open, honest, and accepting. I don't think that's really normal for app dating, specifically if you're looking for something more meaningful than a hookup.

tl;dnr - you're a good dude, mimh. You're empathetic and very in touch with your own self...your strengths and weaknesses...but in my completely ignorant opinion your self declared weaknesses make app dating incredibly difficult to navigate. Unless you find your Alabama...which it sounds like you might have. Either way, you're beyond the 'negatives' of the app world and have advanced to true connection and relationship building. You done good, son.

[King Colby]

Semi pertinent 30 year old anecdote from a guy who's been with the same woman for, well, 30 years now so this actually happened 6 months before I met Mrs. F.

Night before graduation from Grove City, at the bar (on the night the Pens lost game 7 to the Islanders), I don't know about now but back then certain groups of GCC students spent a decent amount of time at bars in the outlying areas.

Sitting with a girl I knew from my language classes. We never really hung out outside of class. We were both greek, I know that's not a popular thing on this board but times are different now. I was in sort of the regular guys who don't fit in elsewhere fraternity, we had a black member and a gay member both of which are exceedingly rare at uber conservative GCC, She was in the hot girls sorority but she was more of the aforementioned 5-7's. Being that the hot girl sorority hung out with the preppy guy and jock fraternities, we didn't really hang out.

Not letting the loss get me down I asked her to dance and she was drunk enough to go for it. While we're dancing she goes "so why didn't you ever ask me out?" The fact that she could have also asked me out notwithstanding, I guess it was stupid college social constructs, maybe because she hung in higher circles than I did and all, but I guess I just didn't really think of it. I was shy, she seemed kind of shy, and I think at that point I was attracted to girls with bigger personalities and in fact married one. She just wasn't who I was looking for.

Maybe had I asked her out years before I'd have had a perfectly nice girlfriend all through college and a different wife. Maybe I'd have had one date and we'd have figured out we weren't compatible like that. Felt like a missed opportunity because I had a blind spot I guess.

No regrets whatsoever, just sometimes you wonder what you missed out on.

Did you at least nail her?

[RonnieFranchise]

Semi pertinent 30 year old anecdote from a guy who's been with the same woman for, well, 30 years now so this actually happened 6 months before I met Mrs. F.

Night before graduation from Grove City, at the bar (on the night the Pens lost game 7 to the Islanders), I don't know about now but back then certain groups of GCC students spent a decent amount of time at bars in the outlying areas.

Sitting with a girl I knew from my language classes. We never really hung out outside of class. We were both greek, I know that's not a popular thing on this board but times are different now. I was in sort of the regular guys who don't fit in elsewhere fraternity, we had a black member and a gay member both of which are exceedingly rare at uber conservative GCC, She was in the hot girls sorority but she was more of the aforementioned 5-7's. Being that the hot girl sorority hung out with the preppy guy and jock fraternities, we didn't really hang out.

Not letting the loss get me down I asked her to dance and she was drunk enough to go for it. While we're dancing she goes "so why didn't you ever ask me out?" The fact that she could have also asked me out notwithstanding, I guess it was stupid college social constructs, maybe because she hung in higher circles than I did and all, but I guess I just didn't really think of it. I was shy, she seemed kind of shy, and I think at that point I was attracted to girls with bigger personalities and in fact married one. She just wasn't who I was looking for.

Maybe had I asked her out years before I'd have had a perfectly nice girlfriend all through college and a different wife. Maybe I'd have had one date and we'd have figured out we weren't compatible like that. Felt like a missed opportunity because I had a blind spot I guess.

No regrets whatsoever, just sometimes you wonder what you missed out on.

Did you at least nail her?

Closed the deal that one time.

[meow]

[MR25]

I would have put all my money on the answer being no, given this all occurred at Grove City lol

[RonnieFranchise]

Yeah well this was a long time ago. These days I think you have to be a virgin to graduate or something.

[dodint]

That checks out. I slept with a girl who went on to Grove City and then didn't graduate.

*edit* errr, circa 2001, not recently.

[RonnieFranchise]

That checks out. I slept with a girl who went on to Grove City and then didn't graduate.

*edit* errr, circa 2001, not recently.

Most the ones i slept with didn't graduate. Don't know if that says more about me or them.

[mikey]

Next of kin...

Removed the "s" until Chris Hansen gets here to take dodint away...

[Shyster]

I get all that but i have to ask... what is the main thing stopping you? Is it lack of interest, or inability/unwillingness to take on this daunting task?

The latter.

[King Colby]

I get all that but i have to ask... what is the main thing stopping you? Is it lack of interest, or inability/unwillingness to take on this daunting task?

The latter.

There's nothing I can say to you that you haven't heard in 48 years, but if you want something and you don't know how to motivate yourself to go get it, you should talk to someone about it