Thread of Love v6.9

[MalkinIsMyHomeboy]

a nice byproduct out of dating a Colombian girl is that my Spanish has improved markedly. Nothing motivates you to learn like trying to impress someone

though I’ve been trying to learn the preterites of irregular verbs and that **** is a dodint. that said, I’ve gotten compliments from two random strangers on two different dates about my Spanish so I will dine out on that for a while lol

[MalkinIsMyHomeboy]

also, obviously in the early stages of dating you’re kind of trying to notice how polite the person is, etc. she paid for dinner last night and as we stood up I felt obligated to make a “uhh…did you leave a tip?” knowing full well she didn’t

she apparently didn’t realize it was an expectation which was pretty funny. Of course I don’t hold it against her because I doubt anyone told her specifically before but it was a fun “god dammit I gotta point this thing out” hahaha

[Lelldorin]

I know that it is expected to leave a tip, but I am not sure if I would dare to point it out when someone offers to pay. Especially not during an early date where you try to get to know each other.

But I guess it is more ok to point it out if she is kind of new to the country and does not know the customs yet...

[Nuge]

In that situation, I would leave the tip.

[mikey]

Good stuff, mimh. And yes, I would have left the tip myself if it was feasible (i.e. you had cash)...but also explained that it is mandatory and spiraling out of control in this country...

[MWB]

I would’ve just paid for the dinner myself instead of letting her pay

[genoscoif]

also, obviously in the early stages of dating you’re kind of trying to notice how polite the person is, etc. she paid for dinner last night and as we stood up I felt obligated to make a “uhh…did you leave a tip?” knowing full well she didn’t

she apparently didn’t realize it was an expectation which was pretty funny. Of course I don’t hold it against her because I doubt anyone told her specifically before but it was a fun “god dammit I gotta point this thing out” hahaha

"Thank you so much for getting us dinner. I really appreciate it and, if it's okay with you, I'd like to leave a tip for our server. They did a really good job."

Softens any condescending tones, allows her to inquire further about the tip culture, the waiter gets their tip, and you look like a caring gentleman that was helping her and the server.

Rookie.

[Rylan]

I would venture MiMH is shorthanding the conversation and was probably much more in tune with the lady that we are taking from his comment. Unless she ghosts him lol

[mikey]

Yeah, I'm giving him the benefit of the doubt here...

[genoscoif]

Listen, when there's low hanging fruit you pick it.

[Lemon Berry Lobster]

In Erie for work and my word is bumble a treasure trove of wild people. There was a 36 year old with two adult kids and a grandson.

[MalkinIsMyHomeboy]

I know that it is expected to leave a tip, but I am not sure if I would dare to point it out when someone offers to pay. Especially not during an early date where you try to get to know each other.

But I guess it is more ok to point it out if she is kind of new to the country and does not know the customs yet...

fwiw, that wasn’t an early date, we’ve been dating for over 2 months now so we already have the rapport that I can poke fun at her for not knowing.

also I did pay the tip myself because I knew she probably felt a little embarrassed

[Shyster]

In Erie for work and my word is bumble a treasure trove of wild people. There was a 36 year old with two adult kids and a grandson.

This is one of my all-time favorite episodes.

[faftorial]

In Erie for work and my word is bumble a treasure trove of wild people. There was a 36 year old with two adult kids and a grandson.

I worked with woman who was 19 and she had a 1 year-old and her mom was 35. Crazy.

[meow]

So she puts out. Big deal

[mikey]

Yeah, you can dump a load or two in there and not even worry about having to find some stairs in three months...

[count2infinity]

Today is my wife and I's 10 year anniversary. We got each other nothing... just the way we like it.

[meow]

We took a trip to the mountains for our 10th. No other gifts. Other than the D if you know what I mean

[count2infinity]

Oh... good idea. I'll grab some Donuts on the way home.

We talked about going on a little get away. She was all for it until it actually came time to plan it and she wouldn't commit to any plans. Oh well. We'll take a trip just the two of us again some day... lol

[MalkinIsMyHomeboy]

Yeah. Obviously haven’t spent a 10th anniversary yet but ideally my future wife and I would prefer we just spend quality time with each other or do random nice things rather than give gifts or make it a big thing


my sister in law got my brother a copper golf putter for their 7th (the “copper” anniversary). It was a good gift and I helped pick it out but he never used it. That’s kind of the inherent risk with gifts and why they’re not really good to begin with. You run the risk of wasting money on a unused gift, even if it’s well thought out

[genoscoif]

We took a trip to the mountains for our 10th. No other gifts. Other than the D if you know what I mean

Were you walking funny or having trouble sitting down the next day, or were you pretty used to it after 10 years?

Funny, meow...I didn't peg you as a romantic.

[meow]

I’m a champ

[King Colby]

We just celebrated our 8th. I buy pretty practical and thoughtful traditional themed gifts capped at about $100. She buys me really dumb **** that I wish she wouldn't lol. I wonder if she says the same thing...

We are planning to take a trip for our 10th though. We went away over spring break for 5 days and it was great

[robbiestoupe]

We typically buy each other a few small things and try to get away for a night without the kids on our anniversary. Usually something where we can kayak, ride bikes, or hike. Very low key but that’s all we want.

[MR25]

I need a space to vent because I'm just so goddamn annoyed with the process at this point...

I matched with a girl on Bumble about 2 months ago. We hit it off almost immediately, hours long conversations deep into the night, every night, about everything and nothing in particular. Go out on a date a week later, again just instant connection, losing track of time, punctuated with a kiss and a long goodbye. She claims to get sick Wednesday, but we continue to stay up and talk (including future plans) until Saturday afternoon. I hear nothing for 4 days. Wednesday she says "oh, just been overwhelmed between work and being sick". Nothing again for another 5 days, so I reach out and get "I'm better now but between work, family, and house stuff I've been having difficulty with time management". I say fine, and offer to wait for her cue. 10 days later she gives me the "too busy, deleted all my apps, take care of yourself". Ok, fine, I understand that.

Fast forward to now, I find her Hinge profile. Looks recent-ish, but what chaps my ass is that she has one picture she took in the bathroom mirror while we were on our first date. Exact same outfit she was wearing, and the place had a unique styling, so there's no question about it. Also includes another picture that she sent me directly based on a conversation thread we were on.

I don't even know if I have a point to this, other than to get it out of my system. I feel lied to, especially because we connected so well and so deeply despite the shortness of our talking, and because there was no other indications that things were going bad.

I really wish I was able to just not give a ****, but I'm hamstrung by my own inability to keep multiple options open at the same time (because I want to build more of a connection with someone instead of a pump and dump), and I'm finding out I still have issues from a months-long relationship that ended a year ago where something similar happened (things were going well until she started pulling away, and blamed outside factors for her pulling away) despite all the work I've done in therapy to move on.

Dating in 2023 sucks ass, y'all.