Randomness Dos

[King Colby]

@Pavel Bure how's the apple bag my dude? I'm at about the 96 hour mark here and feeling much better. Did not need ice at all today. Swelling is gone, just a little visible bruising around the incision now

[NTP66]

Seeing as how we took a $19k loss on my wife’s condo when we sold it, had we had a traditional wedding, we’d never have been able to buy our current house.

[mikey]

Oh! And the "day of event coordinator" provided by the venue bailed 2 days before, so my mom got this recently divorced woman she knew to handle the job.

Except instead of actually do anything, she got drunk then left early to spread her legs for one of my friends.

[mikey]

Everyone has a wedding nightmare story. Ours was a bridesmaid deciding 8 hours before the ceremony that she wasn’t coming anymore.

Woah. Is she in the picture any longer...?

I **** you not, the last word spoken from mrs meow to her was saying “hello” when she called to tell her. Apparently she called to tell her and mrs meow didn’t say a word and hung up.

That's ****** gold. What a selfish c*nt...now, I haven't read ahead yet, so maybe this won't hold up well if you know more. But one message at a time, your last word being "hello" is baller...

[mikey]

We're all burying the lede here. Back to mikey's situation......

The unpacking part is I'm having a really hard time understanding how/why all the wedding planning separate from the location - save-the-dates and invites with RSVPs, however many 3rd party vendors - got to a state of completion without having the venue locked down.

Does the venue not have any proof of liability insurance requirement of the vendors? Have the vendors not spoken with a representative of the venue to organize their day-of logistics or anything? Is there anyone acting as a coordinator/planner?

There are so many other moving pieces that depend on having the reservation to the venue locked down. Like catering.... you say catering is part of the venue (it was with my wedding, too). But they don't guarantee pricing unless you're contracted months out. In our case, the caterer was the same kitchen staff as what served 3 restaurants at the venue, so they need to have cost and staffing certainty, especially since weddings tend to be on weekends, with attendant logistical challenges. Again in our case, we couldn't lock in the catering unless we could show we had the venue day/date reservation.

The venue has been locked in 14 months. We never wavered on our reservation. We haven't changed our tune about anything. We've been up there for tastings of various sorts. We approved our menu many months ago. Locked in rate. It was the very first piece that we had locked in. All the **** that we have that's third party (our DJ, photographer, florist, portraitists, harpist, etc.) all came after...not super long after, but after...some of which are already familiar with the venue, which is nice...all of them have provided us all of the paperwork that we need, they have method of payment from us, it's all locked and loaded...

But...because we're dealing with some ADHD crumbum eye-talian bag of pig meat, we don't have an actual contract from the venue. We have the reservation, the email traffic, the deposit, a ****** letter of intent, whatever else...but for whatever reason, this slappybrown goombah doofus just won't email over the god damn thing...he hardly responds to anything and he's supposed to be managing this whole process...except for the fact that he's too stupid to live. My future wife is sending direct text messages saying "this is nerve racking at this point, and causing a lot of stress, can you please just send us the piece of paper..." and he'll go four days, not respond, and then go "let's schedule a call [during your work hours] to talk about it" ...talk about what? We've done 10 of these calls you dumb scrotum, you keep saying you have no issue, we keep saying that we have no issue and we've made all of our choices...send. us. the. thing. you. f*ck.

Because this rancid asspussy stalled for no obvious reason, we're now in a position where we can't stagger this five digit payment across even two months...

##

I mean, just to drive the point home. We asked for what table sizes they have available. They have two table sizes, reasonably. Ok, pal, how big are the tables? "Ahh, one is 120 inches across...and the other is..."

Hold the phone, f*cko. Do you know how big a 120 inches across is? You'd need binoculars to see who you're talking to across the table. We don't need the circumference, just the standard diameter is fine and it should be much easier to get then whatever you're doing.

"Yeah, no, it's 120 inch table and the other one is 96..."

Sir, they don't make tables that big. We're not sneaking wedding guests into Troy here...how big is the table really?

And dicknose couldn't do any better. So, I had to use a Saturday to go up there just to measure the tables. Which, of course, were NOT even CLOSE to 120" in diameter because that would be stupid...but you knew that already because you're a smart person.

[meow]

Everyone has a wedding nightmare story. Ours was a bridesmaid deciding 8 hours before the ceremony that she wasn’t coming anymore.

Woah. Is she in the picture any longer...?

I **** you not, the last word spoken from mrs meow to her was saying “hello” when she called to tell her. Apparently she called to tell her and mrs meow didn’t say a word and hung up.

That's ****** gold. What a selfish c*nt...now, I haven't read ahead yet, so maybe this won't hold up well if you know more. But one message at a time, your last word being "hello" is baller...

No that was it. And mrs meow kept the dress. this little black pencil skirt that is super short that she wears when we got out to fancy ass places. so it worked out

[Pavel Bure]

@Pavel Bure how's the apple bag my dude? I'm at about the 96 hour mark here and feeling much better. Did not need ice at all today. Swelling is gone, just a little visible bruising around the incision now

One of the boys turned a nice plum color for a couple days, doc said that was normal bruising. Going back to normal. I think they clamped a muscle in my one side so that’s still not all the way back. It’s more like a slight groin pull now than anything. I guess cleaning out the pipes is next on the docket.

[tifosi77]

This.....

we don't have an actual contract from the venue.

...is the only part that matters.

My worry is that your contact has double-booked the date. Do any of their public-facing website things show a calendar of events? What's it say for your date?

[mikey]

This.....

we don't have an actual contract from the venue.

...is the only part that matters.

My worry is that your contact has double-booked the date. Do any of their public-facing website things show a calendar of events? What's it say for your date?

We finally got it. So we're fine. I'm just sour that this unnecessary delay means I have to try a squeeze play to make it all fit without touching any cash...it's just annoying. Even one month, and my life is infinity easier...

[meow]

tif being more concerned about this than mikey has made me

[MalkinIsMyHomeboy]

[Sam's Drunk Dog]

My father-in-law, who walked with a cane, tripped and broke his glasses and cut his face up near the end of my wedding. My mother-in-law was late to arrive to join the bridal party for the limo trip to the venue so my mom wound up helping my wife get ready.

[King Colby]

tif being more concerned about this than mikey has made me

Worst case scenario you get a double wedding. Twice as likely to have someone do nose beers off your weiner in the bathroom

[Orlando Penguin]

This.....

we don't have an actual contract from the venue.

...is the only part that matters.

My worry is that your contact has double-booked the date. Do any of their public-facing website things show a calendar of events? What's it say for your date?

We finally got it. So we're fine. I'm just sour that this unnecessary delay means I have to try a squeeze play to make it all fit without touching any cash...it's just annoying. Even one month, and my life is infinity easier...

So how many FAF'ers are crashing this shindig?

[NTP66]

Came across this today and thought it was pretty neat.

[Ad@m]

Happy Birthday @RonnieFranchise

[NTP66]

Happy Birthday @RonnieFranchise

[skullman80]

Happy Birthday @RonnieFranchise

[King Colby]

Happy Birthday @RonnieFranchise

[NTP66]

I always see the same SUV going over the speed limit in our school zone, and it drives me nuts. They were in front of me today, doing it again, when I saw an unmarked township police truck pull out in front of me and pull them over. So damn satisfying.

[Shyster]

Happy Birthday @RonnieFranchise

[willeyeam]

hbd pal

[mikey]

hbd franchise

[tifosi77]

Haaaaaave a good one, RF!

[meow]

HBD you old sailor you