Fifth Avenue Forum

Here they are...the rules to the 'It's Makeable' drinking game to be held during the final round of the PGA Championship. For those of you familiar with the game, you know how this works. For those of you new to the game, welcome, and I hope you have a good supply on hand. This was borne from the tired phrasing of golf announcers saying that a putt is makeable. Guess what, all putts are makeable. Otherwise, why would you attempt them? I had a former Tour pro tell me that it’s not true. And now we know why he’s a former Tour pro. For those in need of a refresher of the rules, here they are. Sip responsibly.

BASIC RULES
1 drink when:
--Any announcer proclaims that it's a makeable putt. Variations of this include 'doable', 'holeable', or a hole is 'getable' or ‘birdieable’.
2 drinks when:
--Any announcer says a putt is 'very' makeable or 'highly' makeable. Variations in play here as well.
Also drink when: (other pet peeves)
--One announcer asks another, 'what's he looking at there?'. Uh, a golf ball on a patch of grass or sand, what else is he looking at?
--An announcer says that '3 is a good score on that hole'. They haven't made a par 2 yet.
--An announcer says that the next shot 'will depend on the lie'. It always does.
--An announcer says that a player is taking the flag out before a chip because "he's trying to make it". I don't know about you but I try to make all my chips whether the flag is in or out.
--An announcer says that the golfer committed an "unforced error". This is golf...no one is rushing you like a QB, no one is hitting a shot back to you like tennis, no one is playing defense on you. Therefore, nothing is FORCING you to shank that 7-iron.
-- An announcer calls it a (adjective here) golf shot. It’s not a lacrosse shot or a basketball shot.

THIS WEEK-SPECIFIC RULES

Drink anytime when:

--You hear the word ‘zoysia’. Apparently, this is the only golf course in the world that has that type of grass because we have heard it all week.

--Every time you hear ‘Hold On, I’m Comin’ ‘Havana’, ‘It’s Your Thing’ or ‘Connection’. You might want to have the DVR ready to shuttle thru the commercials if you want to keep your sobriety past 11am.

--A shot is joined in progress...meaning that by the time we get to see the golfer, the club is already being swung or the ball is already in flight.

--Shots are shown out of order. For instance, if Player A hits a shot to the green and we see a ball already on the green and then we see Player B hit that exact shot. CBS has a horrifically bad habit of doing this.

--*IMPORTED FROM OUR SEC FRIENDS* Anytime Verne calls a golfer by a wrong name or mispronounces the name. He called the leader of the tournament “Kup-kuh” on Saturday and the name of the player who made the ace on his hole is Matt Wallace, not Mike as he called him.

--Someone mentions that Jordan Spieth is going for the career grand slam this week.

--Ernie Johnson reads a promo for a TNT show that you've never heard of.

These should keep you plenty hydrated for Sunday’s action. Pace yourself and make sure to eat as well.