5AF Parenting Thread

DigitalGypsy66
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5AF Parenting Thread

Postby DigitalGypsy66 » Tue Nov 27, 2018 11:03 am

You absolutely need to have time alone. She may be hesitant to leave the baby, but you need to work your angle and get her mother/family onboard and working that angle.

My wife was like that when my kids were babies, and now she can't wait to dump them off on family lol. My mother in law stays with us for Christmas, and my wife and I are heading to Hilton Head for 3-4 days before the New Year. Can't friggin' wait. :lol:

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Postby count2infinity » Tue Nov 27, 2018 11:05 am

Well, by the time July hits, the kid will be 15 months old. That's more than acceptable to be the first time we drop her off and go do our own thing.

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Postby DigitalGypsy66 » Tue Nov 27, 2018 11:08 am

Yeah, you've got a toddler by then. She'll be ready for a break. :lol:

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Postby count2infinity » Tue Nov 27, 2018 11:11 am

She'll be 8 months old not this coming weekend, but next weekend, and she's walking with a push toy already... I was not prepared for a mobile child this soon. :lol:

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Postby Viva la Ben » Tue Nov 27, 2018 11:46 am

She'll be 8 months old not this coming weekend, but next weekend, and she's walking with a push toy already... I was not prepared for a mobile child this soon. :lol:
We had an early walker with our youngest. I have him on video around a week before he was 9 months old taking over a dozen steps. He was a hit at the family Christmas party because it’s looks so weird for a 9 month old to casually walk around.

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Postby count2infinity » Tue Nov 27, 2018 11:54 am

My niece is about 3 weeks younger than my kid, and when they were together at thanksgiving, it was night and day. My niece was barely able to sit upright by herself. My daughter was crawling all over the place, and at one point crawled onto my niece and just sat on her. I'm assuming she was asserting her dominance.

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5AF Parenting Thread

Postby Morkle » Wed Nov 28, 2018 9:40 am

After three weeks off I go back to work Friday. Gonna be real tough.

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Postby Morkle » Wed Nov 28, 2018 9:41 am

You absolutely need to have time alone. She may be hesitant to leave the baby, but you need to work your angle and get her mother/family onboard and working that angle.

My wife was like that when my kids were babies, and now she can't wait to dump them off on family lol. My mother in law stays with us for Christmas, and my wife and I are heading to Hilton Head for 3-4 days before the New Year. Can't friggin' wait. :lol:
This for real, we're already planning a trip to Nashville here in June for a few days. Parents love to watch kids lol.

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Postby meow » Wed Nov 28, 2018 9:42 am

Going back on a Friday? I don't know if that is incredibly smart or incredibly stupid.

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Postby Morkle » Wed Nov 28, 2018 9:47 am

Going back on a Friday? I don't know if that is incredibly smart or incredibly stupid.
That's when my bonding leave ends. I can't take a vacation day to wipe it out per our work rules. I HAVE to go back that day, and it's annoying as all hell.

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Postby meow » Wed Nov 28, 2018 9:49 am

It might be a really good ease-in day, depending on how your office operates on a typical Friday. Please report back

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Postby Morkle » Wed Nov 28, 2018 9:50 am

Friday's are easy mode. I'll be taking the time to pull data and go through e-mails. It'll be a slow 8 hours and then for two days. I've convinced myself I'd rather do this than start on a Monday fresh.

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Postby shafnutz05 » Wed Nov 28, 2018 1:12 pm

It might be a really good ease-in day, depending on how your office operates on a typical Friday. Please report back
Completely agree, I would MUCH rather have my first day back be a Friday.

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Postby mac5155 » Wed Nov 28, 2018 2:11 pm

So someone help me out here - should I have a dependent care FSA for daycare expenses?
Can I also deduct costs that family members charge ( :pop: ) for daycare while the wife and I are at work?
Or do I just deduct everything at the end of the year?

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Postby shafnutz05 » Wed Nov 28, 2018 2:19 pm

So someone help me out here - should I have a dependent care FSA for daycare expenses?
Can I also deduct costs that family members charge ( :pop: ) for daycare while the wife and I are at work?
Or do I just deduct everything at the end of the year?
We have a dependent care FSA and I highly recommend it.

Marketwatch has a good read on paying family members:

https://www.marketwatch.com/story/tax-r ... 2012-03-27

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Postby meow » Wed Nov 28, 2018 2:21 pm

A FSA is a no-brainer

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Postby NTP66 » Wed Nov 28, 2018 2:24 pm

A FSA is a no-brainer

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Postby robbiestoupe » Wed Nov 28, 2018 2:26 pm

So someone help me out here - should I have a dependent care FSA for daycare expenses?
Can I also deduct costs that family members charge ( :pop: ) for daycare while the wife and I are at work?
Or do I just deduct everything at the end of the year?
Had this discussion with a coworker (not the family member part, what is this madness?). I do the FSA deduction as I can receive my tax benefit quicker than waiting to deduct and get the money back in March of the next year. But it takes a little bit of dedication as (at least for my FSA) you cannot request dependent care FSA reimbursement until you've put it in. This is different than a medical FSA in that I can get a reimbursement of my entire 2018 medical FSA as soon as I rack up that amount of medical expenses.

I also do a deduction come tax time because the amount I put in the FSA (max of $5000) is well below daycare expenses. So I claim on my taxes (total daycare costs - FSA contribution).

Regarding family members, they are exempt from paying the nanny tax. As far as you claiming those expenses, this is tax attorney level stuff. When we hired a nanny, I followed the rules and paid the nanny tax, as this allowed me to use FSA monies to pay for it. But if your nanny is a parent, how do you prove to the IRS you are using the FSA money properly?

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5AF Parenting Thread

Postby mac5155 » Wed Nov 28, 2018 2:32 pm

A FSA is a no-brainer
My wife has the FSA - but I'm fairly certain it's only for her. I have her asking her HR department.

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5AF Parenting Thread

Postby mac5155 » Wed Nov 28, 2018 2:35 pm

So someone help me out here - should I have a dependent care FSA for daycare expenses?
Can I also deduct costs that family members charge ( :pop: ) for daycare while the wife and I are at work?
Or do I just deduct everything at the end of the year?
Had this discussion with a coworker (not the family member part, what is this madness?). I do the FSA deduction as I can receive my tax benefit quicker than waiting to deduct and get the money back in March of the next year. But it takes a little bit of dedication as (at least for my FSA) you cannot request dependent care FSA reimbursement until you've put it in. This is different than a medical FSA in that I can get a reimbursement of my entire 2018 medical FSA as soon as I rack up that amount of medical expenses.

I also do a deduction come tax time because the amount I put in the FSA (max of $5000) is well below daycare expenses. So I claim on my taxes (total daycare costs - FSA contribution).

Regarding family members, they are exempt from paying the nanny tax. As far as you claiming those expenses, this is tax attorney level stuff. When we hired a nanny, I followed the rules and paid the nanny tax, as this allowed me to use FSA monies to pay for it. But if your nanny is a parent, how do you prove to the IRS you are using the FSA money properly?
Likely will do nothing with the (payment :pop: ) to the family member.

So, figure out total amount of daycare costs (likely more than $5k).
Put $5k into FSA
???
Reimburse myself from FSA dollars at end of the year?

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Postby NTP66 » Wed Nov 28, 2018 2:39 pm

Source of the post So, figure out total amount of daycare costs (likely more than $5k).
Put $5k into FSA
???
Reimburse myself from FSA dollars at end of the year?
First off, if the DFSA is through your wife, then everything will be going through her paychecks. When you submit your claims, she'll receive the payment in her paycheck - at least, that's how most places work. You submit claims as you get them, and they pay them as they get them. It's not a 'submit them all and get a big check' kinda deal.

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Postby shafnutz05 » Wed Nov 28, 2018 2:45 pm

Yup, what NTP said. Our FSA is through my wife's and there is just a form that the day care provides us every so often that we send in.

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Postby mac5155 » Wed Nov 28, 2018 2:48 pm

Source of the post So, figure out total amount of daycare costs (likely more than $5k).
Put $5k into FSA
???
Reimburse myself from FSA dollars at end of the year?
First off, if the DFSA is through your wife, then everything will be going through her paychecks. When you submit your claims, she'll receive the payment in her paycheck - at least, that's how most places work. You submit claims as you get them, and they pay them as they get them. It's not a 'submit them all and get a big check' kinda deal.
Yeah, but can't i just claim it all at the end of the year? Or do I need to submit weekly claims? My daycare place usually just gives one year-end statement.

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5AF Parenting Thread

Postby robbiestoupe » Wed Nov 28, 2018 2:52 pm

Source of the post Yeah, but can't i just claim it all at the end of the year? Or do I need to submit weekly claims? My daycare place usually just gives one year-end statement.
You could, but that pretty much defeats the purpose of the FSA.

How often do you pay the daycare, bi-weekly? Are there no receipts?

mac5155
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5AF Parenting Thread

Postby mac5155 » Wed Nov 28, 2018 2:53 pm

Source of the post Yeah, but can't i just claim it all at the end of the year? Or do I need to submit weekly claims? My daycare place usually just gives one year-end statement.
You could, but that pretty much defeats the purpose of the FSA.

How often do you pay the daycare, bi-weekly? Are there no receipts?
Weekly.
My point in doing that would be that it's a nice savings account at the end of the year.

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