Fifth Avenue Forum

Did you ever almost have your 15 month old to sleep at 1 am, have him sit up in your arms, lovingly look you in the eyes, and proceed to projectile vomit all over you?

Good times. Good times.

My nephew left a poop trail on Papa Kaiser's carpet on the way to the bathroom.
He is still the cutest little baby ever!

Why is that emoji green?

I smelled something, grabbed the back of the diaper to pull and look for poop... Fingers slipped right off, poop on my shirt, poop on my hand, poop on the kiddo exploding out of the back of the diaper.

I do NOT miss the poop days.

Unfortunately the vomit days last a lot longer. We always do a junk food fest on Christmas Eve. Christmas Eve 2013, my 13 year old projectile vomited mostly buffalo wings off the top bunk all over his bedroom.

Pleasant

I smelled something, grabbed the back of the diaper to pull and look for poop... Fingers slipped right off, poop on my shirt, poop on my hand, poop on the kiddo exploding out of the back of the diaper.

We call that a "blowout" and had a few of them...just not onto us.

Oh boy, can't wait for that time in my life. First thing I'm investing in is a pee pee teepee.

I do NOT miss the poop days.

Unfortunately the vomit days last a lot longer. We always do a junk food fest on Christmas Eve. Christmas Eve 2013, my 13 year old projectile vomited mostly buffalo wings off the top bunk all over his bedroom.

My daughter would projectile as an infant if we gave her whole milk. Had to use 2%. She wasn't lactose intolerant (per tests).

My son had some bad days at 9 before he was diagnosed as having Celiac Disease. I mean, what do you feed a kid who is vomiting and has diarrhea? Yep, toast and pasta...which only made him sicker.

He only pooped on me twice. The first time was my first ever diaper change.

Only my oldest did the projectile vomit thing...and number four has farts that would win competitions. The kid is 2 and can clear a room. (And is well aware of his superpower).

We've been pretty lucky...have had several blowouts with our daughter but they were mostly contained to her clothes. When she was really young (2-3 months maybe?), she shot poop off the changing table squarely into our goldendoodle's face. So that was funny.

We've been pretty lucky...have had several blowouts with our daughter but they were mostly contained to her clothes. When she was really young (2-3 months maybe?), she shot poop off the changing table squarely into our goldendoodle's face. So that was funny.

Our oldest, now 14 peed on the dog during his first bath after he came home. We have video to prove it. He's pretty happy about that.....

Pfffft I peed on our dog in December

In 3 days all three of my kids have got upper respiratory and ear infections. I've made 3 trips to the Dr this week. I told them today that's it, I'm out of kids. I don't even know if it's possible, but I think I regot(no way that's a word) their virus after dealing with my bronchitis and a sinus infection for a week, so it's fun feeling terrible, then better, then terrible again.

I'm starting to fully realize the benefit of 9 year old boys when it comes to yard work.

If I ever need reassured that I made the correct choice in not having kids, I just need to read the first posts in this thread.

I'm starting to fully realize the benefit of 9 year old boys when it comes to yard work.

I mean I pretty much just run the mower. Raking and gathering weeds and brush is now handled by someone else. I have a built in crew.

Free labor! And parts....

Related to my rage post in the random thread yesterday...it is a wonderful feeling after six nights of your toddler coughing and being miserable at night, trying a new prescription at 5 PM today, and seeing her be fast asleep in the same position on the monitor for 2 1/2 hours and counting. Knock on wood, but so relieved.

A friend of my mom's daughter came home from college. Pregnant. Doesn't know who the father is. Party girl, many guys. Yikes.

A friend of my mom's daughter came home from college. Pregnant. Doesn't know who the father is. Party girl, many guys. Yikes.

Colleges need to hand out the morning after pill for dummies like that.

A friend of my mom's daughter came home from college. Pregnant. Doesn't know who the father is. Party girl, many guys. Yikes.

Colleges need to hand out the morning after pill for dummies like that.

Not to mention HIV packets.

If they aren't already, then yeah, I agree. Lots of condoms too.

A friend of my mom's daughter came home from college. Pregnant. Doesn't know who the father is. Party girl, many guys. Yikes.

Colleges need to hand out the morning after pill for dummies like that.

Not to mention HIV packets.

Packets of HIV?