5AF Parenting Thread

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5AF Parenting Thread

Postby RonnieFranchise » Tue May 08, 2018 10:36 am

Any of yinz do carriers for your little ones?
Yes it is an 09 Legacy. If he gets detention one more time for tardies because he gets up too late to get to school on time in it, he is going to live in it in the school parking lot.

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Postby count2infinity » Tue May 08, 2018 10:38 am

I don't get it...

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Postby Viva la Ben » Tue May 08, 2018 11:00 am

You should cosplay as masterblaster.

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Postby RonnieFranchise » Tue May 08, 2018 12:02 pm

I don't get it...
My 17 year old’s car might as well be a freaking baby carrier for how well he is doing getting to school on time in it.

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Postby MWB » Tue May 08, 2018 12:03 pm

Another weekend tournament, ended up going 3-1 with a loss in the championship game.

We've been having some confidence issues with our son, who is a very good baseball player - not great at this age, but above average. I don't have delusions of him playing in college or the pros, but he certainly could play through high school.

If he has a bad at bat - which is common at 9 years old - it destroys the rest of the game and potentially weekend for him. On Saturday, he had probably the best two games of his life at the plate - 5 for 5 with two walks, and all five hits were hard hit to all fields. He scored each time he got on base. My wife and I tried to temper his expectations, because if things went bad the next day, he would be devastated.

Sadly, that's what happened. His first at bat on Sunday, he crushed another ball right out to an outfielder, who caught it. My son cries when he gets out, despite coaches, us, other parents, and his teammates trying to console him. He doesn't cry for long, but he is basically done for the day. Two lazy ground outs, and a strikeout, and a flubbed ground ball in the outfield.

It's sad because he demands perfection in this and everything he does - school, video games, other sports - but that is unattainable. After a bad game, he says he sucks and wants to quit and hates baseball.

We honestly don't care about his performance on the field - it's just his bad behavior that drives us crazy, and frankly, is embarrassing.

I really want to take him to a psychologist/therapist, because we've seen this behavior with school and anything that challenges him, but my wife is against it. I'm not sure taking a kid to a shrink in a town of 4000 is a good idea, despite the Hippocratic oath. Everyone here knows everyone else, and gossip is currency with these people. :lol:

I would hate to see him quit something that until very recently he loved unequivocally...but man, it's tough watching him shut down mentally.

Any suggestions? I know a lot of your kids are very young, but any new perspectives would be helpful...
My daughter is very similar in some ways. She expects perfection from herself in schoolwork and in sports, and can get down on herself. Same as your son, if she has a bad game, she gets very down on herself and it affects her in the next game because she gets anxious, fearing failure. When she was your son's age, she would also cry a lot about it. Same with school. She would think that getting a 100 on assessments was the expectation, and would study endlessly, no matter how much she was told otherwise. She would spend hours on HW because she wanted it just right. She is now 14, and has gotten a lot better with it. She went to therapy for it, and still does on a limited basis. The perfectionism and anxiety go hand in hand. She learned strategies to deal with it and ways to accept that things won't go right sometimes, and you can only control your own actions. I know some people still see therapy as a stigma, but most don't. It can be incredibly helpful.

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Postby meow » Tue May 08, 2018 1:33 pm

Any of yinz do carriers for your little ones? The wife and I love going to farmers markets, street fairs, outdoors/crowded area kind of things. I know I get annoyed when people bring strollers to such things (insert dodint rant about parents thinking they're special). So I was wondering if anyone here has a carrier they like? We got a wrap as a baby shower gift which I've tried a few times, but putting it on is a hassle and I'd imagine she'd get really warm in it since it's black and pretty heavy fabric. Was looking at stuff like the ergobaby, lillebaby, tula style things. The second hand market here is pretty decent, just wondering if anyone has first hand experience with them.
We use the Baby K'tan thingy. It’s nice for the summer because the fabric is breathable. Once you figure out how to put it on, it is really easy to use. The only problem we’ve found is that only mrs meow can use it now because the baby grew enough where we can’t slip her in it while I’m wearing it.

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Postby eddy » Tue May 08, 2018 2:48 pm

Any of yinz do carriers for your little ones? The wife and I love going to farmers markets, street fairs, outdoors/crowded area kind of things. I know I get annoyed when people bring strollers to such things (insert dodint rant about parents thinking they're special). So I was wondering if anyone here has a carrier they like? We got a wrap as a baby shower gift which I've tried a few times, but putting it on is a hassle and I'd imagine she'd get really warm in it since it's black and pretty heavy fabric. Was looking at stuff like the ergobaby, lillebaby, tula style things. The second hand market here is pretty decent, just wondering if anyone has first hand experience with them.
We use the Baby K'tan thingy. It’s nice for the summer because the fabric is breathable. Once you figure out how to put it on, it is really easy to use. The only problem we’ve found is that only mrs meow can use it now because the baby grew enough where we can’t slip her in it while I’m wearing it.
it's been a while, but we used something called "baby hawk". It worked great for us.

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Postby Freddy Rumsen » Tue May 08, 2018 7:02 pm

I think most of the outs in coach pitch come from the coach striking his own player's out. ;)

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Postby count2infinity » Mon May 14, 2018 3:06 pm

I would like to nip this in the bud, but would like advice on how best to do it....

My MIL is great. Love her. But her coworkers keep giving her stuff to send to us that we have no need for nor room for. Today: a giant bassinet. The kid is 5 weeks old... what do they think she's been sleeping in the past 5 weeks that we need a bassinet? Is there a way you've found that is a way of saying "please stop sending us stuff" without offending? I mean we've never met these people in our lives, they'd have no idea if we use the stuff they're sending or not, so is it just better to say thanks and haul the sh*t to goodwill?

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Postby grunthy » Mon May 14, 2018 3:10 pm

I would like to nip this in the bud, but would like advice on how best to do it....

My MIL is great. Love her. But her coworkers keep giving her stuff to send to us that we have no need for nor room for. Today: a giant bassinet. The kid is 5 weeks old... what do they think she's been sleeping in the past 5 weeks that we need a bassinet? Is there a way you've found that is a way of saying "please stop sending us stuff" without offending? I mean we've never met these people in our lives, they'd have no idea if we use the stuff they're sending or not, so is it just better to say thanks and haul the sh*t to goodwill?
Say thanks and get some taxes written off or sell it for extra cash for things you do need.

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Postby DigitalGypsy66 » Mon May 14, 2018 3:12 pm

Yeah, what nobody said. Take those deductions.

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Postby count2infinity » Mon May 14, 2018 3:15 pm

Well, the other thing is that they're giving these gifts to her, and she's paying to ship them all to us... this bassinet cost her $25 to ship it to us.

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Postby shafnutz05 » Mon May 14, 2018 3:19 pm

Well, the other thing is that they're giving these gifts to her, and she's paying to ship them all to us... this bassinet cost her $25 to ship it to us.
Thank her for the tax deduction.

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Postby grunthy » Mon May 14, 2018 3:35 pm

Measured my “little” guy yesterday. He was approximately 24.5-25lbs and 29.5-30 inches long. He turns 7 months in 4 days... kid is gigantic.

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Postby DigitalGypsy66 » Mon May 14, 2018 3:47 pm

Well, the other thing is that they're giving these gifts to her, and she's paying to ship them all to us... this bassinet cost her $25 to ship it to us.
Oh, no. Didn't know about the shipping thing. Thought these were local gifts. You need to tell her "thanks but no thanks" at this point.

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Postby meow » Mon May 14, 2018 5:27 pm

I would like to nip this in the bud, but would like advice on how best to do it....

My MIL is great. Love her. But her coworkers keep giving her stuff to send to us that we have no need for nor room for. Today: a giant bassinet. The kid is 5 weeks old... what do they think she's been sleeping in the past 5 weeks that we need a bassinet? Is there a way you've found that is a way of saying "please stop sending us stuff" without offending? I mean we've never met these people in our lives, they'd have no idea if we use the stuff they're sending or not, so is it just better to say thanks and haul the sh*t to goodwill?
“Thanks MIL, but we are all set. Make sure to thank your friends, but we do not need anything for the baby right now.”

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Postby Orlando Penguin » Mon May 14, 2018 5:43 pm

Another weekend tournament, ended up going 3-1 with a loss in the championship game.

We've been having some confidence issues with our son, who is a very good baseball player - not great at this age, but above average. I don't have delusions of him playing in college or the pros, but he certainly could play through high school.

If he has a bad at bat - which is common at 9 years old - it destroys the rest of the game and potentially weekend for him. On Saturday, he had probably the best two games of his life at the plate - 5 for 5 with two walks, and all five hits were hard hit to all fields. He scored each time he got on base. My wife and I tried to temper his expectations, because if things went bad the next day, he would be devastated.

Sadly, that's what happened. His first at bat on Sunday, he crushed another ball right out to an outfielder, who caught it. My son cries when he gets out, despite coaches, us, other parents, and his teammates trying to console him. He doesn't cry for long, but he is basically done for the day. Two lazy ground outs, and a strikeout, and a flubbed ground ball in the outfield.

It's sad because he demands perfection in this and everything he does - school, video games, other sports - but that is unattainable. After a bad game, he says he sucks and wants to quit and hates baseball.

We honestly don't care about his performance on the field - it's just his bad behavior that drives us crazy, and frankly, is embarrassing.

I really want to take him to a psychologist/therapist, because we've seen this behavior with school and anything that challenges him, but my wife is against it. I'm not sure taking a kid to a shrink in a town of 4000 is a good idea, despite the Hippocratic oath. Everyone here knows everyone else, and gossip is currency with these people. :lol:

I would hate to see him quit something that until very recently he loved unequivocally...but man, it's tough watching him shut down mentally.

Any suggestions? I know a lot of your kids are very young, but any new perspectives would be helpful...

I was your son when I was playing baseball at that age. How I got broken of the behavior was being told at 11 years old that I didn’t make the league all-star team that summer. It wasn’t because I wasn’t good enough - I was the 2nd best player on my team - but it was because of how I acted when things didn’t go right. I’d snip at umpires, kick the bench, toss a helmet, stomp the ground when I missed a grounder, etc. My coach told me that if I cleaned that up, I’d be a no-brainer for next summer’s team. Sure enough, the next summer, I was much better mentally and made the team. I’ve always been a perfectionist, even now. It’s a difficult behavior to control. From an outsider’s perspective, I’d ask him after a game about why he feels like he should quit and then ask him if he knows how he looks to his teammates and fans when he acts up. The idea of being mortified that someone saw me acting like a moron on the field quickly changed my demeanor.

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Postby DigitalGypsy66 » Mon May 14, 2018 9:20 pm

That sounds like a good plan. Going to try that this week. :fist:

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Postby meow » Wed May 16, 2018 10:02 am

Vasectomy day

Image
For you guys that have had one of these, how long after were you...um...ya know. In the clear?

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Postby pens9192 » Wed May 16, 2018 5:23 pm

My area's youth football/cheer league is probably the worst run sports organization in the world, right next to the NHL. My youngest daughter still wants to do cheerleading for this org because she enjoys cheering and doing it with her friends but this organization gives my wife and I heartburn. Hopefully its her last year with this league

Issues list:

- Its run by two women with poor communication skills and inflated sense of self-worth whose kids stopped being involved in the organization years ago. There is a dude also on the controlling board but he is never around.
- They do nothing with reports of coach issues saying "its out of our hands" ??? These aren't complaints about child playing time but complaints of abusive behavior towards the kids
- They sent a registration flyer home via the school that was sent too late for cheaper early bird registration and the flyer was riddled with mistakes (they later claimed, "those weren't mistakes but miscommunication")
- Infrequent posts on their Facebook page and the website hasn't been updated in over a year
- Parent meetings are canceled at the last minute with a promise to reschedule the meeting and sometimes this never happens and they go months between meetings.
- Issues have been raised on the local Facebook groups and the women complain that everyone takes to social media to complain and instead to raise any issues via personal phone calls to one of them. Then they bash parents for complaining and for not volunteering to help out. Spoiler alert: I did offer to help two years ago with their website and Facebook page and I was stonewalled when I tried to get information from them needed to actually help everyone out. I eventually gave up when I realized I needed to be in their personal clique to be accepted as a helper.

Then they wonder why participation levels drop every year. Maybe the above it why.

/rant

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Postby Viva la Ben » Fri May 18, 2018 8:21 am

My 7th graders are going to their first school dance tonight. My wife is 1000x more excited for this than they are.

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Postby RonnieFranchise » Fri May 18, 2018 9:09 am

My area's youth football/cheer league is probably the worst run sports organization in the world, right next to the NHL. My youngest daughter still wants to do cheerleading for this org because she enjoys cheering and doing it with her friends but this organization gives my wife and I heartburn. Hopefully its her last year with this league

Issues list:

- Its run by two women with poor communication skills and inflated sense of self-worth whose kids stopped being involved in the organization years ago. There is a dude also on the controlling board but he is never around.
- They do nothing with reports of coach issues saying "its out of our hands" ??? These aren't complaints about child playing time but complaints of abusive behavior towards the kids
- They sent a registration flyer home via the school that was sent too late for cheaper early bird registration and the flyer was riddled with mistakes (they later claimed, "those weren't mistakes but miscommunication")
- Infrequent posts on their Facebook page and the website hasn't been updated in over a year
- Parent meetings are canceled at the last minute with a promise to reschedule the meeting and sometimes this never happens and they go months between meetings.
- Issues have been raised on the local Facebook groups and the women complain that everyone takes to social media to complain and instead to raise any issues via personal phone calls to one of them. Then they bash parents for complaining and for not volunteering to help out. Spoiler alert: I did offer to help two years ago with their website and Facebook page and I was stonewalled when I tried to get information from them needed to actually help everyone out. I eventually gave up when I realized I needed to be in their personal clique to be accepted as a helper.

Then they wonder why participation levels drop every year. Maybe the above it why.

/rant
Not making excuses because they sound like idiots but I speak from personal experience when I say that running a youth sports league is a hard-ass thankless thing to do. People sort of know what goes into running the actual season but the preparation goes on year round. On your personal time, by the way.

That said:

Unless this is all in house There should be a governing state body for this that dictates how things are done that could be called on these people. There should also be a full board not just 2-1/2 people who run it (granted even with a full board it’s usually just a couple doing the heavy lifting).

Most troubling thing I see is reports of coaches abusing players. They need to nip that in the bud right effing now. Just because a coach is a volunteer doesn’t mean s/he gets to behave that way.

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Postby shafnutz05 » Sat May 19, 2018 9:08 pm

My wife is at a bachelorette party in NJ this weekend, so it's just my daughter and I. Today, I took her to a nice spa in Lancaster for her first salon cut and we both got manicure/pedicures together. Setting aside the fact mani/pedis are amazing and I endorse any guy to go have one done, these are the weekends that stick with me as she slowly (and quickly) gets older.

We also played Mario Party, lounged a bunch and watched TV, and went to lunch. Nice having the one on one time.

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Postby count2infinity » Wed May 23, 2018 11:52 am

A guy I work with had a kid 5 days ahead of us, so obviously we chat regularly about new developments and how the kiddos are doing. Today I mentioned that we had a throw a 6 month sleeper on her last night as the 3 month stuff was a little tight in some brands. His eyes got big and said "how much does she weigh?" I said we did the whole hold her, step on the scale, then hand her off and step on the scale and subtract thing and she's clocking in about 12.5-13 pounds. He said his boy just got to 8 pounds. His was born April 3, mine April 8.

My kid is a beast and will dominate the daycare when she gets there.

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Postby grunthy » Wed May 23, 2018 12:41 pm

A guy I work with had a kid 5 days ahead of us, so obviously we chat regularly about new developments and how the kiddos are doing. Today I mentioned that we had a throw a 6 month sleeper on her last night as the 3 month stuff was a little tight in some brands. His eyes got big and said "how much does she weigh?" I said we did the whole hold her, step on the scale, then hand her off and step on the scale and subtract thing and she's clocking in about 12.5-13 pounds. He said his boy just got to 8 pounds. His was born April 3, mine April 8.

My kid is a beast and will dominate the daycare when she gets there.

Just like ours. Our 7 month old wears mostly 12-18 month clothing, some 18-24 month. We are in a swimming class and he is bigger than all the 1 year olds, lol.

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