2018 Playoff Haikus - Round 1 vs. Flyers

Postby **Tico Rick** » Wed Apr 11, 2018 5:33 pm

The Flyers are bad
But Giroux's a pretty boy
Waffles for the win

Postby **Robot B9** » Wed Apr 11, 2018 6:07 pm

Flyers lives suck, suck
Suicidal Tendencies
Captain Stupid Claude

Postby **iamjs** » Wed Apr 11, 2018 11:33 pm

Here lie the Flyers
Just like what Scrooge told Beavis
They never ever scored.

Postby **iamjs** » Wed Apr 11, 2018 11:37 pm

A game one touchdown
For the Pens. For the Flyers?
A game one donut.

Postby **iamjs** » Wed Apr 11, 2018 11:45 pm

Claude was -4
A number he knows real well:
Minus four... four... FORE!!!!

Postby **iamjs** » Thu Apr 12, 2018 10:55 am

Elliott phone home?
More like call for Mrazek
Dated ET joke.

Postby **Robot B9** » Thu Apr 12, 2018 1:34 pm

Buttstink crappy pants
Odiferous quality
Flyers game bit chode

Postby **Robot B9** » Thu Apr 12, 2018 7:56 pm

Scott Lawton: Whiffer
Could have made a difference
Murs Heismanned his face

Postby **iamjs** » Thu Apr 12, 2018 10:03 pm

Drafted in Pittsburgh
Laughton is still getting booed
BOOOOOOOOOOOO-OOOOOOOOOOO-OOOOOOOOOOOOO-OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Postby **Robot B9** » Fri Apr 13, 2018 6:12 pm

Ready player 1?
Looking at you, Matt Murray
Shut em down, Chuck D

Postby **Robot B9** » Fri Apr 13, 2018 6:18 pm

Feels like a Prong game
Whose fist is this anyway?
J Oleksiak's

Postby **Blue Canary** » Sat Apr 14, 2018 6:44 pm

The morning after
What a craptacular loss
Someone take my phone

The texts were afire
With jags suddenly gloating
Where were they hiding?

----

Here we are, game 3
I'm not dealing with nonsense
Pens, gain back control

The orange t-shirts
And the screaming idiots
Aim to mess you up

You've been here before
We need 2 solid road wins
Quiet the masses

Sid and Geno know
That nothing's ever easy
Vying for the Cup

----

Now, back to the jags
I don't want to hear from them
Again this series

I'm bracing myself
To hear the jags spell "EAGLES"
During the playoffs

Dumbest thing ever
Seriously, so stupid
Let's hear, "Crosby sucks!"

----

Sid hears the chanting
He breaks into a weird grin
"It's go time," he thinks

Brian Elliott
You're still Brian Elliott
No Conn Smythe for you

----

Meanwhile, there's Cheez Whiz
On the bottom of our shoes
Gooey and dirty

It seems symbolic
We plan to crush their hopes
Grind them into dust

Add the fried onions
"Who's cutting them?" the Jags cry
"Whiz wit' " means "losing"

Postby **Blue Canary** » Sat Apr 14, 2018 6:48 pm

Ready player 1?
Looking at you, Matt Murray
Shut em down, Chuck D

Public Enemy
Fear of an orange planet
Send them to the moon

Postby **Blue Canary** » Sat Apr 14, 2018 6:49 pm

Feels like a Prong game
Whose fist is this anyway?
J Oleksiak's

The "People's Elbow"
Is no match for Jamie's glare
Let's ask Wayne Simmonds

Postby **Blue Canary** » Sat Apr 14, 2018 6:51 pm

Elliott phone home?
More like call for Mrazek
Dated ET joke.

Career suicide
For all the Flyers' goalies
Set up a hotline

Postby **Robot B9** » Sun Apr 15, 2018 6:16 pm

Raining hard outside
Flyer tears salty failure
2-1 for good guys

Postby **Robot B9** » Sun Apr 15, 2018 6:18 pm

911 a joke
Get up a-git-git git down
So is Elliott

Postby **Robot B9** » Sun Apr 15, 2018 6:22 pm

19 on the board
Positive acquisition
Big Brass Balls, baybeeee

Postby **Robot B9** » Sun Apr 15, 2018 6:28 pm

Shayne Gostisbeher wut
Nobody can spell his name
Just say Crapbasket

Postby **iamjs** » Sun Apr 15, 2018 9:13 pm

Fifteen thousand and
Six hundred sixty three days
The streak continues

Postby **Willie Kool** » Mon Apr 16, 2018 8:28 pm

Pick-a-Pen friendly
Dumoulin racking up points
Playoff warrior

Postby **iamjs** » Tue Apr 17, 2018 2:58 pm

Listen @BroadStBull
The baton was never passed
Retweet again? Sure.

Postby **iamjs** » Tue Apr 17, 2018 3:00 pm

911 a joke
Get up a-git-git git down
So is Elliott

Flyer in the box?
I'm gonna say they have to
Fight The Power

Postby **Robot B9** » Wed Apr 18, 2018 4:38 pm

Bedrik Smetana
Awesome classical music
Flyers are Bieber

Postby **Tico Rick** » Wed Apr 18, 2018 7:20 pm

**** Bobby Clarke, eh?
Giroux, Patrick, Voracek
**** all them losers.